An addendum to my last post

Sadie commented on my last post and pointed out how smart this friend of mine is and that after being married for almost three years it was about time she had another bridal shower.

HA HA! I agree. As long as we are throwing wedding etiquette out the window maybe I'll throw myself a bridal shower. If you can have one way after the fact why can't you have one way before the blessed event (so far even that you cannot see it in the near future)?

I need some new stuff too. I'll send you an invitation. What's your address?

A Wedding in Reverse

The awesome thing about my blog being private is that I can talk about stuff like the following:

Towards the end of October I had a friend from high school who I haven't really kept in close touch with send me a facebook message with the subject "addresses please"

It said the following:

"Updating my address book and sending out Christmas cards, send me your addresses please. I would love to send you a card."

Am I the only one that thinks that a single 24 year old woman thinking that far ahead about sending a Christmas card to her high school friends sounds a little unusual?

I wasted no time calling her bluff. And responded with:

"Christmas cards already? Are you sure your not secretly engaged and trying to surprise us? Haha."

Didn't hear anything after that UNTIL early December when I got an announcement from her that she had eloped with her boyfriend to Australia.

I thought this was totally awesome. I am a huge fan of the idea of an elopement. The older I get the more the idea of running off and not worrying about cake, flowers, dresses, seating arrangements, who to invite and who to leave out etc. sounds awesome.

I was supporting the whole thing until I realized that what I was looking at was not just an announcement but an invitation to a reception. What the?!

Isn't one of the reasons you elope so that you don't have to deal with all that stuff? I guess if you decide that you just can't wait to get married but still want to have the party with friends and fam (and all the gifts) I can understand that. So I put panty hose on and got a gift and went to the reception. It was formal. She was in her dress there were rented tuxes, there was a cake and flowers. In short it was a wedding. But the marriage was two months previous in Australia and nobody at the reception was invited to it.

I thought that was the end of that until this week when I got an invitation in the mail for a BRIDAL SHOWER for this same friend.

No. I will not. This is asking too much. If you wanted a shower with all the gifts and everyone to hem and haw at you and your engagement and marriage and what a pretty bride you'll be you should have followed all the rules. You broke the biggest rule which I think is awesome but you're undoing all of the awesomeness by doing all the things you forfeited by eloping.

I'm not going to the shower. I won't.

I'm not getting married. Not because I don't think I'll ever find a man to pop the question but because I don't see any way to have a fun wedding that highlights the importance of the event without all the stress and formalities.

Humbug.

More on Truth and some other stuff

Guess who said the following:

"Truth has power, And if we all gravitate toward similar ideas, maybe we do so because those ideas are true...written deep within us. And when we hear the truth, even if we don't understand it, we feel that truth resonate within us...vibrating with out unconscious wisdom. Perhaps the truth is not learned by us, but with our unconscious wisdom. Perhaps the truth is not learned by us, but rather, the truth is re-called...re-membered...re-cogniazed...as that which is already inside us."

(..........)

Its a quote from a book I'm reading which I'm slightly embarrassed to admit is Dan Brown's new book The Lost Symbol (I'm not embarrassed to be reading it but I am embarrassed to be quoting it).

The reason why I brought it up is because I'm really interested in the idea of truth. In my head truth is something that people from all backgrounds, time, countries, religions agrees upon whether consciously or unconsciously.

One of the things I love about studying history is seeing the constants and patterns that occur. There are some things that exist in all civilizations. Everyone needs food, water, shelter etc. In every civilization there is love, fear, greed, pride etc. In every civilization there is a religious explanation for their existence. There is a plural or singular deity. Most have an explanation for what happens after death.

And although the details might be different, the time, language, and places are different the ideas are essentially the same. And its within those similarities that you find truth.

Like the quote above says; truth is not something learned but remembered. Its something that our spirit, that part of ourselves that most easily recalls God, knows and tries to tell us if we can be quiet enough.

I've read all three of Dan Brown's Robert Langdon series (Da Vinci Code, Angels and Demons, and The Lost Symbol) and while I think he's a great action packed, thriller writer he is not the religous expert people have given him the credit for being. He is first and foremost an entertainer. I think his style and purpose for writing are the same as Hollywood's. Its all about flashiness and shock and awe. When everyone was peeing their pants over the Da Vinci Code I couldn't believe the uproar that was caused within the Christian world. This guy wasn't an expert, he wasn't a religous leader or theologian. He's just a writer trying to sell some books. He has an interest in puzzles and riddles and an education in art history. That's it. So why did everyone freak out about the claims he made in his FICTIONAL NOVEL (spoiler alert: As a Mormon I think the idea of Christ having a wife makes total sense. I would never dare to venture that Mary was his wife on this earth and its an even bigger stretch to assume he has descendants but having the understanding I do about marriage and how it pertains to eternal life I don't understand how He couldn't be married.)

The thing that I like about reading Dan Brown's stuff is he gets so close to the truth and he always sets it up like its this incredible revelation. Like in the one I'm reading now he points out that all major religions teach that there is some point in the future where men will be more enlightened than they are now. He states that the apocolypse doesn't mean the end of the world it means the end of the world as we know it. Um, I hate to sound like a know it all but I already knew that. So many things he sets up as the this big scandalous thing like "apotheosis" which means the process by which man becomes like God. The characters in the book are so surprised that prominent men in history strived for such a thing but it seems like a pretty regular idea to me. Isn't the point of most (all?) religion to become more divine?

I also like that he writes characters that believe that science and religion can not only exist together but that they confirm each other.

I haven't finished Symbol yet so I can't weigh in on how I feel about it yet.

That's all really. Its a little scattered. Also I like that Langdon is a former water polo player.

Dear Readers,

To Sadie, Kerrie, Beckie and Jill (those are the people that I know for sure read this...)

And to whoever else this may concern,

I've decided to go private. So if you want to continue to read my very long, unnecessary posts please send me an email at hahandy@gmail.com and I will gladly add you.

I welcome everyone who reads me. Even if you're in the closet (not the gay kind) and I don't know about you.

Love,
Heather

Reader Beware: Long, Theraputic Rant Ahead

I hate to add fuel to the media firestorm that has revolved around Tiger Woods lately but its upset me and I'm upset that its upset me...so I'm gonna write about it. If you, (like me) feel that this topic has already received as much publicity as it deserves than by all means please move on to looking at funny/cute pictures of cats or watching youtube videos. But here's my cathartic 2 (more like 200) cents...

I read this article

And I didn't like the things it had to say. I'm referencing it because I think that its what got me worked up enough to write about it.

Here's the reasons I'm upset about this whole Tiger thing:

1. I like(d) Tiger. I've never been interested in the game of golf except for him. He's a successful, good looking, athletic family man. The picture of him excelling at the game his upstanding father taught him and then taking home his winnings to his wife and babies is irresistible to me. But now what with all that's come to the surface he obviously isn't that man. The real Tiger Woods that I’m beginning to see is someone that is a little repulsive to me.

2. That's the next thing that has upset me. If he is so obviously not the seriously dedicated, family man that I've always liked than I can only feel betrayed by sponsors, publicists, ads, and agents that have created this public persona for him. I feel like such a fool that they've tricked me into liking a man (and as a result his stupid, stuffy, “Gentlemen Only, Ladies Forbidden” sport) that doesn't exist. If they (sponsors, publicists etc...) can so easily make me believe in this façade what else are they deceiving me about? Can I trust the picture painted of any public person? I don't think I can or should.

3. And I don't think the media is any better. They're all looking for a way to cash in on this. Every pundit is spinning it in whatever way is most beneficial to them. Most say he should get out in front of it and publicly apologize and disclose everything. Who does that benefit? His wife? His kids? You think it would be good for him to publicly drag himself through the mud? Please. Will my life be better or worse if Tiger publicly confesses his sins to me? The only people such an act would benefit would be the people that would report it to the public. Maybe some think it would restore the faith and trust of his fans. I say that with his home life hanging in the balance this should be the least of his worries.

4. The thing that I’m most upset about is obviously the infidelity. The word makes my skin crawl. I realize that I come from a conservative culture. And that my religion, culture, friends, family and my own personal feelings put marriage on a very high pedestal, but this is (I hope) despicable viewed from any perspective. How can someone be so selfish? In my mind that is the absolute worst possible thing a person can do to their spouse. What a fool he is if he thought his selfish behavior wouldn’t have an effect on anyone and that no one would find out. How humiliated his wife must be. How unfair to his children. If he was single, fine, go get yourself infected and be with the shallowest kinds of women that live in this world. But when you’ve made the commitments he’s made, both privately and publicly I’m only left to think that he is a stupid, selfish, very small kind of man with no thought but for his own pleasure. It seems to me that Tiger must be suffering from an ego so big he's become dysfunctional.

If you are the best in the world at what you do, and you have more money than you know what to do with and you can’t handle being married to a beautiful woman who is the mother of your beautiful children without resisting the temptations of other women then GET A DIVORCE. It happens all the time. You wouldn’t be the first Tiger, and its probable you’d lose some popularity but it couldn’t possibly be worse than what is happening now.

Idiot.

The author of the above article states that he doesn't know Tiger and Elin's sexual values and neither do we, and that many couples (particularly wealthy good looking couples) have "open-marriages". I feel pretty confident in saying that Elin's not feeling this whole situation though.

Along those lines, since this fiasco has happened I’ve heard and read a few people comment that monogamy doesn’t work. That we as humans, are not meant to be monogamous. And that the biggest sin Tiger has committed was being careless and getting caught. What a load of crap. The people that say that are the kind of people that want to have no responsibility for their actions. Yeah right, humans aren’t meant to be monogamous, is that why we have been since the dawn of our existence? I guess that explains why people have been choosing to pair up and live their lives and raise families with one other person for thousands of years because it sucks so bad. Again, what idiots. You have only to consider the risk of pregnancy and disease to see why monogamy is a good idea.

Imagine what would happen to society (is happening to society?) if the family breaks down. Chaos. I’ve studied enough history to be able to see that when the family stops working everything stops working…That’s when the Germanic tribes invade from the north and destroy your capital and enslave you to a foreign ruler. Sounds like a sweet deal yeah?

5. In the article above the author explains that for people like Tiger who are that rich and that famous there is a certain “rockstar” mentality and expectation. That being if you’re not getting a ridiculous amount of extramarital tail you’re a sissy or something. Here’s what the guy says:

“A heterosexual male celebrity athlete/entertainer who likes to socialize faces tremendous pressure from longtime friends and corporate friends to entertain. If the boys are hitting a club, South Beach or Las Vegas, it's Tiger's job to attract the women. This is far more important than Tiger picking up the tab or securing a lady for himself.”

Again this seems like a really weak excuse for bad behavior. As a married man if you can’t handle the pressure of going out…don’t go out. If you love going out too much and can’t give it up, then get yourself single man.

I’m sure that rich, famous, good-looking men are under a kind of pressure I can’t even begin to understand (*rolls eyes). I remember reading a report about my favorite womanizing, egoticstical, crooner being spotted in a gay night club. So obviously he’s gay right? JM’s response to the rumor was that he wanted to go out and have fun without every half dressed, drunken woman in the place throwing themselves at him. I can see how that would get annoying and all I can say to that is shame on those women. I’m embarrassed and ashamed for them.

At this point I feel like I’m condemning the whole world but I’m not quite done yet.

6. Some have spun this as a racial thing…Its getting so much coverage because she’s a attractive white woman…his women on the side are white etc…Shaq is getting a divorce from his black wife because he cheated on her and no one’s batting an eye. The author of the article says that “White America” feels betrayed…that Tiger’s been given all the perks and privileges and now we just feel betrayed. I can't even begin to comprehend the complexity of that can of worms so my only response to that is that this bit of White America doesn’t care how much money Gatorade loses or the color of his Swedish wife. Tiger’s still an ass. Shaq too for that matter, and what’s his name from South Carolina.

7. Lastly, Its hard to believe how professionally irresponsible Tiger’s behavior has been. He’s the face of some pretty big companies and really for the game of golf. The amount of money these entities will lose because of his selfishness is staggering.

What a jerk. Sorry Tiger…I wanted to be on your team but you’ve made it impossible.

This has made me feel better but its SO LONG. I’m really sorry. I won’t be mad if no one reads it.

On the plus side (!?) there's been some excellent puns come out of this whole affair (pun!)

My fave: What's the difference between a golf ball and an Escalade? Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball 400 yards.

Yuck yuck yuck...

HI

Lately I haven't been in the mood to write much. So I'm going to do something I rarely (never really) do. Post pictures instead of words.

We had a great time in Hawaii:


At the temple in Kona

Mom insisted we have lunch in this gross parking lot. There were cigarette butts everywhere. I spied a piece of cardboard I thought might make a good place to sit but then I realized I would have to fight 5 homeless men for it. When we were through I found a prophylactic on the ground in between where my mom is and where I took this picture.

Sarah's favorite part of the trip.

This bird almost bit Carly's face off.



My new bff that I swam with.


A lava tube we came upon about fifteen feet from the ocean that was filled with crystal clear fresh water.



The height of sophistication: Mt. Dew in stemware.

Pineapple Princess


These boys love to make their dad laugh.

Me and M. Bart.

We had a great time. Lets go again!

Oh, public education...

http://founditsharedit.wordpress.com/2009/10/26/the-best-exam-answers-yet/