Expect the Unexpected

If on December 31st 2007 the ghost of New Years Yet to Come had shown me what the year 2008 would bring me, I wouldn't have believed him. Nor do I think I would have understood what I saw.

To say the least 2008 was unexpected. My last semester in Logan was so long, so boring, I was dying for a change, for something new and different. So I went to California. The only expectations I had when I went out there was to have fun.

Expectation met.

Everything else about my time in California was completely unexpected. I didn't see it coming and I'm still not sure how it all happened.

I didn't even know his name when he put his hand on my waist as we crouched on a small wooden platform as part of a team building activity. I was taken by surprise twice in that moment. My first reaction was "Hey who does this guy think he is?" followed by something I didn't expect: that hand felt like it belonged there. It actually scared me. Surprise! I realize how hollywood that sounds but I won't pretend like it didn't happen like that.

The fall passed in a blur. I was working so hard as a student teacher that I think I didn't even have time to mark the passage of time. The weekends at the end of September, October and November stand out in my mind but everything else about the fall runs together.

Winter came. I graduated. 5 1/2 years in the making. A bright spot not just on 2008 but on my life.

And now its time for 2009 to start. Before July I don't think I knew where Cleveland, Ohio was. Now, because of what has happened in 2008 I will be moving there in two days. Even as I type this I can hardly believe it.

Some people have said that its a brave thing I'm doing. Maybe, but I don't feel very brave. It's just something I have to do. Unless I want to live the rest of my life wondering, I don't have much choice.

And the truth is with or without Cleveland I'm still at a crossroads in my life. I would still have to take a step into the dark, not knowing what was on the other side. The next chapter of my life is unwritten and I want to be its author. I don't want to wait around and have it written for me.

Sadie told me that of anyone she knows I can handle this experience and that I do well with the unknown. I responded by telling her that I'm equipped with the knowledge that the gospel is true, that Christ is my Savior, that my family loves and supports me and after that anything I don't know doesn't scare me. And I'm very willing to add to the store of things I DO know and take away some of the things that I don't. Seek and ye shall find.

Jenni told me she was proud of me and that gives me confidence.

My mom told me she would always be there which gives me peace of mind.

Will told me he loves me which inspires me.

Bring it on 2009.

Through all of this I am so grateful for a mother who encourages me and supports me in finding my way rather than try to keep me home and safe where nothing bad (or good) can happen to me. So much of who I am is because of her. I can't even begin to say how much she means to me.

Leap and the net will appear -- Zen saying