Saturday, October 31, 2009

A Memory, Just in Time for Halloween

When I was in middle school I walked to and from school everyday. I usually walked with two friends that lived in my neighborhood. Our normal route took us past the Cottonwood Heights Rec Center. On particularly cold days we would cut through the Rec Center for an extra minute of warmth.

One day I was walking home alone. I must have had to stay late that day. I cut through the Rec Center and decided to pay my water bill at a small, little used restroom near my exit. There were only three stalls in the bathroom and noting that all the stall doors were open (giving me the impression I was alone) I chose the middle stall. I go about my business but before I'm finished the silence was cut with a chilling, Halloween worthy, female scream coming from the stall on my right. It scared me so bad I stopped mid-stream, yanked up my pants and got the heck out of there, my exit punctuated by a second scream.

In hindsight, my adult, emergency response trained self thinks I should have checked to see what was wrong. But I was SURE I was alone in there. It freaked me out and I could not do anything but get out. I couldn't use that bathroom again for years. I still don't know what happened. Maybe it was all in my head?

Anyway,

Happy Halloween!

Saturday, October 24, 2009

The Ugly Side of the Sacrament

Bet you didn't think there was one did ya? Neither did I until this morning.

It's my ward's month to clean the church. I signed up to help for today. After being slightly delayed this morning I showed up about fifteen minutes late. I'm still pretty new to my ward and so I didn't know the young man standing in front of the custodial closet door who after quickly scanning the list posted on the door gave me one of the jobs still left. He asked me clean the sacrament preparation room and wipe out all the sacrament trays.

I was kind of excited. I had never been in that room before. I knew it wasn't going to be some ornate luxurious room but just the fact that I had never seen one gave the job an air of mystery and excitement. Just to dispel any romantic notions YOU might have about the room it's little with a counter and a sink and some shelves.

Immediately after registering what the room look liked, my sense of smell was accosted. It stunk. Bad.

Due to the small proportions of the room it didn't take me long to identify the cause of the smell. In the corner was a tall trash can three quarters of the way full with discarded sacrament cups and (brace yourself) bits of wet, moldy, black and blue, fuzzy bread. It was so gross.

Because of the offensive smell I decided I would start with taking the garbage out. I pulled on the bag and it was HEAVY. I got it high enough to see that rank, stinky water was dripping from the bottom of the bag. And as soon as I disturbed the fetid mess the stink increased ten times.

I pulled my shirt over my nose and pulled the trash can onto the stand to get it out of the tiny room. I wiped trays down, counter and sink and it was about this time my roommate Rachelle comes by having finished her job and asks what smells so bad. I show her and her only response is "Boys." She ran to grab two trash bags, one to double up the dripping nasty one and one as a replacement.

When she comes back, shirts over our noses, we double bag that sucker and she hurries away to the dumpster with it. Leaving me with the trash can that still has a quarter inch of stinky water, pieces of beyond recognizable bread and a few tiny plastic cups floating in the bottom. The stink is still overwhelming. I thought about just tossing the can and letting someone in charge know that the sacrament prep room needed a new one. But I remembered that usually the custodial closets have tallish sinks (for lack of a better word) with drains on the floor and faucets with a short hose on them. I dragged the can in there and started rinsing it out. I got the can pretty clean but the bits of "bread" and cups were caught in the drain. So I put on a latex glove and right as I'm about to fish the stuff out the last of the cleaning party shows up at the closet, including the young man who assigned me the job.

"What is that?" he asks disgustedly.

"This is what was in the bottom of the garbage can in the sacrament preparation room." I reply.

Now here comes the worst part of the story. This guy then proceeds to say, like he's patting himself on the back, that that's why he gave that job to a woman. Because we're so "detail oriented" and men clean that room up all the time and miss stuff like that. What?! Taking out the stinking, moldy, mildewy trash that has been neglected for months and months is detail oriented?! And only the sensitivity and discerning eye of a woman could catch such a subtle offense. He would have been better off complimenting ME and not generalizing my sex as the world's best man's trash taker outers. Maybe I'm overreacting...

Anyway...

The second worst part about cleaning up that room was wiping old lipstick off of the bottom of the water trays. There's something you never think about.

Happy Sabbath tomorrow!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

The Dentist and I

I went to the dentist today. An appointment I keep every 6 months. I'm kind of starting to realize that this is more frequent than most adults see the dentist if there's nothing bothering them but I try to do it for a couple reasons:

1. Because I'm still on my parent's insurance and I can

2. Because growing up I had really bad teeth. I had cavities every time I went. I even had a couple root canals on baby teeth. Ridiculous right? Thanks to growing up and (relatively) regular brushing and flossing I seem to have it under control but I'm still paranoid that if I don't stay out in front of it my teeth will just turn black and fall out.

Going to the dentist for me is always an ironic experience. I hate going to the dentist. I don't really like having my teeth cleaned and I REALLY don't like having anything beyond that done. But I love my dentist's office. Here's a list of things I like about the dentist:

  • The receptionist and hygienists. I've been going to the same dentist for years and years. They've known me a long time. They know every member of my family and what order we all come in. When Ryan was gone they always asked how he was. They know what my degree is in. They know I have a boyfriend. They know I moved to Ohio. And now they know I'm back. I feel like I could almost count them as friends. Except most of my friends don't put their fingers in my mouth. MOST of them. (hee).
  • While the music that plays is the softest rock that's ever existed and makes me want to cry with boredom there are tv's in the ceiling which if I'm just going in for a cleaning I usually don't bother with but if I'm having something more serious done its a nice way to pass the time and a good distraction when the drill and clamps are at work. Yuck.
  • The nitrous oxide. Nuff said.
  • I really like that heavy apron they put on you when they do your x-rays. Is that weird? I always want them to just leave it on me.
  • The warm towel they give you to wipe your face when you're done.

Now here's the stuff I don't like about the dentist:


  • Everything else.

The rest is just varying degrees of super unpleasant to downright painful. It sucks and I hate it.


But I go all the time. What's wrong with me?

The other thing that I find incredibly ironic about going to the dentist is I go in feeling fine. No problems with my mouth whatsoever. They'll tell me I have a cavity. So I go in to get it fixed. I leave. The spot they worked on now bothers me. What the crap? Are they just making stuff up? Like there isn't enough dental problems in the world they have to make up work to do in my mouth. Stupid. I'm pretty sure the Bartons alone have paid for Dr. Gleave's second home in St. George.

Sigh.


Tuesday, October 20, 2009

and another thing...

This is scary. I either need to become a vegetarian or find a way to eat healthily raised meat. I'm glad I don't have to worry about feeding kids. Its hard enough for me!

http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1917458,00.html

This is a good idea. And maybe a way to improve the problem in the first article...

http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/10/05/ruiz.obesity.tax/index.html?iref=newssearch


I saw the movie that article refers to and it was disturbingly gluttonous. A not so subtle nod in our direction.

My new favorite show:

http://www.hulu.com/the-biggest-loser

Makes me feel motivated. But the irony of watching people work out INSTEAD of working out is not lost on me.

And finally, some energy (read: money) saving tips:

http://www.usatoday.com/money/industries/energy/2009-10-15-how-to-lower-heating-costs_N.htm


Just some stuff I've been reading/thinking about.

Happy Fall