Thursday, April 23, 2009

Earth Day

First up I'm home and so is Ryan and its awesome.

Secondly, yesterday was Earth Day. I subbed for a social studies class and the teacher left a video on global warming. In a few of the more mature classes I started a discussion on global warming and what they thought about it. Typical of teenagers there was a wide range of opinions all of them super dramatic...
some had no concern for any of it real or not...
some didn't believe it was happening at all...
some believed that it will soon destroy our earth and our lives...
some believed that it was a hopeless situation and there was nothing that could be done to stop it.
I asked the class how they personally could help reduce global warming and when I suggested walking, or riding the bus instead of driving everywhere they scoffed...how lame...when I suggested a bike one girl pointed out that bikes were made in factories and that factories cause lots of pollution (good point)....I countered by telling her that once a bike is made there are no emissions when you use it...smart aleck (but clever) girl says:
"Well don't we emit carbon dioxide when we exhale?"
Me hesitantly, "Yes,,,"
"If I rode a bike everywhere I'd breath heavier, that'd be bad for the environment."
10 points for that girl.

So all that thinking and talking got me thinking about my own solution for global warming and I think I came up with a pretty solid one that will make the maximum amount of people happy.

Complete annihilation of the human race.

Its a quick and efficient solution to our problem...Conservatives will be happy because they'll go straight to heaven because they were right all along. Liberals will be happy because its dramatic and lasting and a complete departure from traditional methods. With humans gone the environment wins.

Polar bears will rule the earth.

So simple. I bet you're embarrassed you didn't think of it.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Best of Substitute Teaching

Here's some highlights and low lights of my time working as a sub in the Lakewood City School District:

1. 2nd grader coming into class and gasping, "A sub!? She's beautiful." And then running and giving me a hug.

2. Having a high schooler ask me if I was white.

3. An elementary school folk dancing assembly which ended with me in a chain of fourth graders doing the bunny hop.

4. Playing catch with a severely autistic student with one of the those big plastic grocery store balls.

5. Being caught off guard by another severely autistic student when he emerged from his napping space completely naked from the waist down after having peed everywhere.

6. Playing the piano for a choral class. (smithishot@hotmail.com)

7. Disappointing a Spanish class by actually speaking Spanish.

8. Boring a history class with a discussion on Communism vs. Capitolism when all they want to do is get to the assignment their teacher left them.

9. Watching Fresh Prince of Bel Air with a class of under achievers.

10. Having angel classes with awesome plans and being able to read ALL day.

11.Knowing probably 50% of the 7th grade students names at Harding Middle School and having them be excited to see me.

12. Being totally ignored by off task High schoolers.

13. Students recognizing me and saying hello around town.

14. Using the same activity with 7th graders that I did the day before with 2nd graders and having them both be excited and engaged in it.

My biggest complaint with substitute teaching is the inconsistency. Except for that its not a bad gig. I still get to feel kind of like a teacher but without all the work and responsibility. On good days its like teaching. On bad days its like extreme babysitting. I don't want to have to do it for too much longer (I can't afford to really) but it hasn't been all bad..

"Hey teacher leave those kids alone!" -- Pink Floyd