Such an odd little culture we have isn't it?
I've always been the kind of girl who can do and LIKES to do for herself. I appreciate the offer, home teachers, but I can change a light bulb and take out the garbage myself. You know what else I'm pretty capable of doing? Putting up chairs and tables and opening doors. Now before you roll your eyes and think that I'm setting this post up to be some feminist rant...hang on and hear me out.
I think we as a culture are guilty of some unfair pedestaling. Which is not a word. But it will be once you understand what I'm saying.
How often have you heard it said, over the pulpit or otherwise, that women are more spiritual or in general, better creatures than men? At times I have been very guilty of this kind of thinking and I think that it is wrong. Its wrong because it sets women up on a pedestal. And makes base, lowly creatures out of men who need the priesthood to save them from their natural state of irresponsibility and inactivity. Wrong.
Remember that oft quoted talk that GBH gave where he said that it wasn't until woman was created that the work could be called good? (I couldn't find it with 30 seconds of searching or I would have linked it here). I don't think that the work couldn't be called good without women because we are so angelic and special. It couldn't be called good (or finished) because women are essential to the plan. Adam couldn't be without Eve and vice versa. Just like I can't declare myself dressed without both shoes on my feet, or my sandwich made without peanut butter AND jelly. We're necessary, not special.
Men in the church are taught to respect, protect, and provide for women which is all well and good but they shouldn't be revered.
Women the world over get put in second place so I'm grateful that the church does its best to given women their due but the problem I have with putting women on a pedestal is that it simplifies their good works and service as merely being part of their nature, and conversely that any good work by a man should be a congratulated surprise.
I'm so guilty of all of this its not even funny. So to make reparations I offer the following (write it down people as I have a history of rarely being complimentary to the Mormon man. Its an unattractive quality, I know.)
Men have it tough. They have heavy priesthood responsibilities that frankly I'm glad I don't have to deal with. They deal with pressure to be providers that I have never known. I know plenty of men that didn't go into fields they wanted to because they didn't feel they would make enough to provide for a family. Which seems unfair. It would be especially hard to feel like a useful provider in a world where women are increasingly able to provide for themselves. I truly believe that people become what you expect them to be and because of this "pedestaling" (women=angels, men=dogs) you are not given the credit that a Son of Adam deserves.
Now get it in gear and find someone to marry already. We're all waiting around for you and your childhood is over I'm sorry to tell you.
And as for not letting me put up chairs etc? I was put on this earth to work and to build the kingdom just like you. I'd rather work beside you than watch you do the work for me.
I think I have a total of two male readers. If you agree or disagree or have something to add from your POV I'd love you to comment privately or publicly.
3 comments:
Amen. Well said!
I feel a little guilty because I KNOW I grew up feeling this way. Now I think it is almost more insulting to imply that women have to be coddled and assured that they are naturally more righteous and men need the priesthood as a crutch, or as an equalizer to our greatness.
Last time I checked men cannot bless themselves with the priesthood. Their priesthood responsibility humbles them much like motherhood humbles me. Men cannot have babies, I cannot give blessings.
I don't think EITHER of us would ever want to switch places.
(Why are my comments to your posts always 830 pages long?)
But even still, it's kind of nice not to have to set up chairs.
I've been waiting for a post from you like this. I still remember you saying to me once at Canyon Terrace, "What's with all these conference talks about how great women are? I'd like some about how great men are. Because frankly, I need to be reminded once in a while."
Or something to that effect. But funnier/more clever.
To be fair, you (and I) have been raised *knowing* how awesome, spiritual, great, worthy, and admirable we are. Seriously. But lots of women haven't been, don't know, or have been treated like they're worth exactly the opposite. Actually I tend to forget it a lot, myself. So any time a man - be it in public, in church, or in my family - remembers to take a second and open the door for me, or allow me to chat while they put the chairs away for me, or say something about my general awesomeness... well, it helps, doesn't it?
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