I need your honest opinions.
The last date I went on was at the end of August (and it took an inordinate amount of work on my part to happen). The date was fine. He's a nice guy. There weren't really sparks but I left feeling like I would go again if he asked.
He proceeded to text me on a daily basis. Which got a little annoying. But what really bugged is there was never any mention of going out again. The fact that he was texting indicated he was interested so why not follow up with another date, I wondered? So I asked him if he was going to ask me out again. He said he was waiting for the right time. Apparently it never came because after about a month (no joke) of texting it slowly petered out and stopped.
Whatevs, I thought.
Until yesterday. When he texted me again. He asked how I was, what was new, how was teaching etc. etc. This was all during the work day and my answers were admittedly clipped (I was working after all). This evening he rather pertinently asked if I wanted to know how he was doing. I haven't replied because I don't know if I want to know.
The part of me that sounds most like my mom says "Don't judge him you don't know what he's been through. And maybe he could be The One if only you would be more open minded and less picky"
The romantic part of me hopes that The One would never treat me this way.
The desperate part of me is just happy for some attention (remember this is the last date I went on in AUGUST. And no one has even looked at me since then).
The arrogant part of me thinks that he must not know a good thing when he sees it. And if he had any idea what he was missing he'd be breaking down my door this minute.
The spiteful part of me is super mad I don't have a handsome, six figure making boyfriend by now to shove in his face.
The bored part of me wants to let it play out.
The self-respecting part of me knows that I would not tolerate this kind of treatment from a friend. Let alone a boyfriend.
So friends, what do you think? Am I going to ask him how he is? Do I care? I guess it depends what part of me you're asking.
Update: Without me saying anything he just let me know that he was good and that he just bought a new car.
5 comments:
Oh, Heather. I have no advice, just gratitude that I didn't text when I was dating. It's hard enough understanding what men are actually thinking when you're face to face! Throw text messaging into the mix and you've got a bumload of double-meanings without any clarification. Blah.
You could tell him that you would like to ask him how he is doing face to face- preferably over a date- not a text message.
oh my gosh. i absolutely forbid you from going out with him again. unless he's chiseled like a Greek statue, in which case, it's a toss up.
You are awesome. I love this post.
Heather I'm a little worried about your schizophrenia. And mine because I know what you mean - 11 Beckies constantly war in my head too.
My advice? I'm all for open doors. No need to close anything yet. Give him a few (more?) chances to show his quality, or lack thereof. Be receptive and write back to him - explain, like you did here, that you were working earlier so it was hard to text, and that's great about his new car, and what kind is it, and what mileage does it get, etc.
Then follow Laura's suggestion above: it'd be easier to talk about this over ice cream, tomorrow night? ;)
Hey...ask and ye shall receive. :)
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