Sunday, September 4, 2011

Risking my Biscuit

I moved this weekend. I've lived in the condo in Holladay for two years which is the longest I've lived anywhere since I graduated from high school. Which is kind of significant. During my time there I had six roommates. All but one of them has gotten married or engaged during those two years. I had no complaints about where I was living but its tough and kind of annoying to keep four bedrooms filled when there's no lease and people are getting married every 4-6 months.

So Jill and I (the remaining unmarried roommate if you are keeping score) decided to move to a smaller two bedroom apartment. We've both acknowledged that we're on a slippery slope.

Let me back up. Earlier this spring (about the same time Jill and I were first considering downsizing and relocating) I was chatting with a married friend at work who is the same age as myself. She was telling me how a fellow co-worker struck her as odd because she was in her late 20's, single, rarely went on dates, had one female roommate who she had lived with for quite some time and the pair of them were looking for a new place to live but were having a hard time finding a place that would accommodate their adopted cat and dog. She's telling me this with a raised eyebrow and a tone that suggests something is not quite congruent with this "lifestyle" and the tell-tale signs of devout Mormonism she had seen on this woman.

I became increasingly horrified as I realized that she was describing my life in three or four years if nothing changes. Jill had even suggested to me that if we found a place that would allow pets that we should get a dog. I thought it sounded like a good idea.

Cut to Scene 2: Jill had been invited to a work barbeque and her boss, aware of her relationship status, encouraged her to bring someone. As is the usual with Jill (and myself) she had no male friends she felt comfortable asking. She does home health and so she never really sees any of the people she works with thus doesn't really know any of them. Although she knows all of them are married. Feeling like she might be uncomfortable at the party she called her boss and asked if she could bring her roommate (me). Her boss's reply: "Well, sure, if you want to risk it." Risk what? inquired Jill. "You know, people thinking...." his voice trailed off.

Really folks? Really? Is this what my life is going to be like? People talking about me with raised eyebrows and hinting suggestions? I'm a single, LDS woman. Too old to live with my family, and I'd rather not live alone so what options do I have? This doesn't seem fair.


Good thing Jill and I have a good sense of humor about it. Our ward went mini-golfing for home evening and not having cash, Jill asked if I would spot her for her ticket. I replied "Sure, if you want to risk it". I asked her if she wanted to run to Wal-Mart to pick up some stuff for our new place and she said, "Sure, if you want to risk it".


Apparently we're risking a lot these days.



6 comments:

Alan said...

I would read your memoir, or at least a published collection of blog posts. Hilarious.

sadie said...

Next time you and Jill come stay at my house, remind me to give you separate bedrooms.

Just kidding.

BeckieB said...

"I took the liberty of pushing the beds together." --Mary Anne Jones

See, it was funny when we were in college. Now...it's serious.

Alternatively...
"It is universally acknowledged that a single woman with a steady employment and lack of a relationship but living with another female must be, in fact, gay, and there's nothing that can be said or done to prove otherwise."

Nichole said...

Oh man. I laughed and laughed during this post. I kind of hate this that people automatically assume you're a lesbian if you're not married and you're living with a female. I can vouched that you're both hetero and not exploring. I've slept in beds with both of you and you never tried to spoon me. I'm pretty sure that both of you tried to punch me on several different occasions when I tried to spoon with you or touch your legs...Whose the lesbian now??!

Mary Anne said...

Thanks for quoting me, Beckie. :) I remember when I was in elementary school, there were 2 elementary teachers that were single friends and roommates. They were both active in the church, but because they were a little older, not married, and living together, people assumed they were gay. They ended up getting their own places after living together for years. Sad that people can be like that.

I'm glad you can joke about it though. I shared a room with you and also am pretty sure you never tried to put any moves on me. :)

Chism said...

I always enjoy reading your perspective.

I hate that Utah culture has this infatuation with calling people gay based on their personality or living situation. Isn't about time we better ourselves and get to know them before cruel labels are slapped on them?


PS As all things in life, your situation reminds me of a Seinfeld episode:

Jerry: Y'know I hear that all the time.

Elaine: Hear what?

Jerry: That I'm gay. People think I'm gay.

Elaine: Yeah, you know people ask me that about you, too.

Jerry: Yeah, 'cuz I'm single, I'm thin and I'm neat.

Elaine: And you get along well with women.

George: I guess that leaves me in the clear...