The Middle Way

Two thoughts that I don't have time right now to fully realize but I wanted to put down real fast:

1. If you're not uncomfortable you're not growing. If you are not growing you're decomposing, atrophying. There is no standing still in any aspect of life you're either moving foward or backwards.

2. In accordance with Buddhism, and Mormonism I believe that any extreme is a form of self-indulgence. There is such a thing as too much of a good thing. Even something like excersise, education, or family...in the extreme it becomes self-indulgence. Savvy?

Peace and Love,

HH

Period of History

I started teaching today and it was so fun. I think they thought I was the biggest nerd but I was having a good time. My favorite part was when I made a joke about this guy's name (Hammurabi) sounding like "ham" and "wasabi". Worst sushi ever! They just looked at me like they couldn't tell if it was cool/ok to laugh. But it made me laugh for a little bit. And that's what teaching is all about. Laughing at your students. Hopefully they'll get to know me and realize I'm way cool.

Other favorite moment:

The class comes in and writes a response to a question on the board everyday. Last week I wrote "If you could be from any period in history what would it be and why?"

One of the answers was from a girl who said "If I could I would be in 2nd period because most of my friends are in that class period"

hahahahaha. Never underestimate how much sophmores DON'T understand.

Other favorite response:

From a dude: "I would be from before 1983 because then the John Mayer song entitled "83" would be a lot easier to relate to and would make more sense." Pretty sure I'm going to marry this boy.

So fun.

Something that I realized today that is not so fun...If I give the students something to do they're going to give it back to me and then I have to read it, comment and correct it and give it back to them. Essentially I'm creating more work for myself. This makes me wonder why I had so much homework as a kid. Those must have been some masochistic teachers.

And that's my life...love it.

"Come on let me love you just a little bit...I'm gonna teach you how to sing it out" Jackson Five

Ender Will Save Us All

Here's two quotes from Orson Scott Card. He writes a weekly column in the Deseret News that I like to read.

The first one is about truth:

OSC says: "True implies that you have found a connection that exists independent of your apprehension of it, that would exist whether you noticed it or not."

Basically he's saying that truth is like the awesome base line in a Red Hot Chili Peppers song. A lot of times you don't notice it but once you do you'll never hear the song the same again, and you realize that its what made the song worth listening to from the beginning. Yeah, truth is like that...

Although hard to find, true things are always worth the search in the end.

The other is about fear:

"Shunning [something] for fear of loss brings its own regret. What you build can be broken, at least for a time; but what you never try to build is lost forever."

So live your lives people. Without fear or regret but with faith and open hearts searching for truth and especially...love.

When did I get so corny? I'm going to go vomit.

"There's got to be something that would be worthwhile for me to give to you." Dashboard Confessional

Feminism...

I love it when some of my wandering thoughts that I put down in random places stand the test of time...I reencountered this note that I wrote almost two years ago and with all the growth and changes I've experienced in that time I still agree with myself. That leads me to think that maybe some truth exists in what I wrote. Which I hope there is cause its a little bit doctrinal...

I am not a feminist. I'm one of many girls who don't know what they want. I want to have equal rights with men but then in exactly the same moment I feel cheated if I don't get special treatment because I am not as privelged/strong/smart etc. as men are. Consider a co-ed ball game if you will. If boys ease up their game because they know they would school me if they didn't I get mad because they are not treating me like an equal player on the field or respecting my skills as an athlete but if they don't ease up their game and then they school me I'm angry because they took advantage of my comparative weakness. Confusing? Yes, I know. The answer? Equality is out of the question. Why? Because men and women are not the same so they should not be expected to have the same abilities/responsibilities/strengths. Many people outside of the church think that the ideal person would have both male and female characteristics. They would take the best traits of both sexes and thus they would have the perfect person. Inside the church we call this marriage. Perfection cannot be achieved within one person. We are different for a reason. Equality is out of the question because we are not equal. We are compliments of each other. It is in each other that we find the characteristics that our selves are lacking. Isn't it a beautiful plan? So I think that women (including myself) should stop competing and comparing themselves with men. We will never be that and we shouldn't want to be that. Although, we should also never stop demanding the respect from men that we deserve for the things that we do better than they do. And to men, don't patronize us for our weak arms or scoff at our lack of sports knowledge but treat us like the the other half of yourself that we are. We will try and do likewise.

Am I kind of patting myself on the back? No matter. Its a topic I've been considering lately. Its just nice to see that I've considered it before and came to the same conclusion. My mind is like a hamster wheel...

I'd like to add that I'm glad we have the vote and that we deserve the same pay and benefits for doing the same jobs as men. I also think that a women could be president of the U.S. however I think that we are too smart to want that job. That looks like a hard job. Only Hilary is crazy enough to try.

"I have to speculate that God himself did make us into corresponding shapes like puzzle peices" Postal Service

Missionaries in a Foreign Field

Can you believe this guy?! I love my brother so much. He articulated my feelings exactly. How awesome that we are so far away from each other experiencing such different things but feeling exactly the same thing? Here's an excerpt from his last letter:

"when everything in your life is changing, the only thing that really never does is the gospel of Jesus Christ, correct true principles given to us from god to make us happy, repentance, the atonement.the holy ghost is so amazing, our heavenly father is a smart one, I hope to always live my life in such a way where I am very aware and spiritually sensitive to the feelings and promptings I recieve. summer still changes to fall. life is still life, but life with the gospel is so much better.

In the words of the late Jimmy Eat World..."they say that love goes anywhere, in your darkest times it's just enough to know it's there"

thanks for all the love, it makes life a lot easier."

Life is still life but life with the gospel is so much better...How I wish that everyone I care about knew this. The clarity, direction and truth the gospel provides is worth everything else in this life put together.

I'm coming home soon. Strange. I've had such a great summer. Hope you have too.

"I've got a feeling, a feeling deep inside. I've got a feeling, a feeling I can't hide." -- The Beatles

Fences

Agency
Obedience
Knowledge
Testimony

All these things have been on my mind. I think that I've found that as one increases or decreases so do the others. They reinforce each other. One more reason the gospel is so true.

The more I learn about alternative lifestyles the more I'm sure that the way that I (try to) live is the best. Is that arrogance or confidence?

One thing I'm sure of is that such confidence is not common. Most the people I've met since being in California have very little spiritual confidence. People seem so afraid to attribute the beautiful things of this world to God. Its hard for me to understand that when his presence and hand is so obvious to me.

Would people do some of the things they do if they felt and saw God's love for them and others? I know God loves these people and he wants them to be happy. And that knowledge makes me different.

I miss Haley. It's nice having another testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ around.

Love your life.

Since You've Been Gone

What up my bloggers????

I'm back online. For a moment. I'll probably get pretty regular internet access from now on although facebook is still blocked. But I get the notifications that someone has written on my wall in my email, so its still nice to feel the love. And please email if you can. I don't get cell phone service but if you text or leave a voice mail I'll get back to you when I get a signal.

So here's some things I want to tell you about my summer thus far:

• My Pathfinder is the shiz in California. Haley and I drove into CA from Reno and the first time we stopped was in San Jose for gas. The first thing anyone said to me in CA was "That's a nice car, are you interested in selling it?" This coming from a man driving a giant black truck with huge rims. Then when I drove into camp and met my boss. He said "sweet truck. What year is it? You've kept it in really good condition." So anyone who has ever criticized my car...California loves it and it knows cars better than you.
• Being in the religous minority is different. Haley and I have never hid our beliefs but we don't exactly advertise them. Slowly people caught on though and they have either been curious or not but I think they all think we're pretty cool. We know that they know that we are different but I don't think any of them realize how different we really are.
• At camp, being in the religous minority isn't that bad because the standards that the YMCA asks us to live for the sake of their campers are the standards that Haley and I choose to live everyday. There are some really awesome people out here. Good people.
• People who aren't LDS say the F-word alot.
• Not all people our age who are not LDS drink. Or drink to get drunk. Some don't like it. Some know that its unprofessional and tasteless.
• Some do drink to get drunk though. I've decided that I don't have a problem with people drinking. I have a problem with people drinking irresponsibly. I have a problem with underage drinking and with drunkeness. I don't really view drinking alcohol as a sinful behaviour for those that don't know better (they're not accountable) but when drinking breaks the law, I have a problem.
• Being a lifeguard again is...fun/wierd. There are definitely perks to not being a counselor but I'm kind of in this weird no-man's-land where I'm not a coordinator (in charge with no campers) and I'm not a counselor (not in charge with campers). I'm the lifegaurd (not in charge, no campers). I've been trying to work out a niche for myself and make myself more useful and I think that some have seen that I can be used in more ways than I am. I've started a little swimming lesson skill session that the kids can sign up for and I've been told that they've never really had anything like that going on at the pool.
• Playing capture the flag is fun.
• I don't get as tan as fast in California as I do at home because of the elevation
• The part of CA I'm in is full of hippies. For realsz.
• I'm old. I didn't really think it would be that big of a deal. But at the end of the day I find myself sick of hanging out with 18 year olds who think I'm old enough to be their grandma. I find myself gravitating towards the people in camp who are my age or older (or at least act like it) and a lot of times that is my supervisors and Will.
• Men who are not LDS can be just as charming and persistent as those that are. In fact its ironic because the things that I have found to be lacking in YSA males lately (degrees, jobs, ambition, self-motivation, desire to date) I've found here at my job in California...minus the LDS part. Can't these things exist together?
• I have nasty, nasty roommates who use my stuff and think that they are lesbians.

That's about all I've got for now. I would love to hear from whoever has the time to get in touch with me somehow.

My address is:

Heather Handy

YMCA Camp Campbell

16275 Highway 9

Boulder Creek, CA 95006

"If you love me won't you let me know" -- Coldplay