Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Thanksgiving Rap (yep that's what I said)
"Alright yo so you think you know about the first Thanksgiving
well na na you don’t. Here’s the throw down
lil Snoop Dawg went to Compton
with a homie named Charlie BROWN!
When they saw the turkey they shot em
And laid the bird out.
When Woodstock rolled up in a caddi
Saw that his brotha was down
Pulled out two 9 millimeters
And showed the mutha effer who’s boss.
A boy rolls up who can, it be
A lil white cracka named Linus G
He saw the shoot out that went down
And he about fell to the ground
The mutha trucka grabbed a fork
And started grubbin like a little pork
He stuffed himself so big
That he looks like a pig
Yeah Boiii"
I thought about editing some of their word choices for the sake of my blog…I don’t think even some of their fake cursing is school work appropriate but I didn’t want to compromise the integrity of their work.
I couldn’t believe this.
Even though I won't miss student teaching I'll miss these kids.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Coincedence?
*Editor's note: For the record I support our president elect and I'm excited to see what he'll do. I just couldn't ignore this.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Free Write
I gave my students the chance to write about whatever they wanted to write about to today. It was interesting to see some of the things they talked about when given the opportunity to say whatever they wanted to. Most complained about school, getting up early or excited to see Twilight this weekend but there were a few gems in the group . Let me share…
Surprisingly I had a poet in the bunch…totally unexpected…he’s the jock type…
“I wish it would snow
So I could go
All the way to see the show.
If it would snow then I could see,
All the snowmen watching me.
With buttons and carrots they stand so tall
Watching everyone hoping not to fall.”
Brought a tear to my eye.
Here’s another. I told them they had to write at least three sentences. This guy barely filled that requirement but at least he did it with unfailing optimism:
“Utah Utes will donimate BYU!! Jazz will go all the way to the finals. I will ace this upcoming history test.”
This one is filled with the kind of drama I was glad to avoid in High School and even I’m more happy I don’t have to deal with now.
“This weekend was so full of drama it was crazy! Girl drama that is. So on Saturday me and some friends were hanging out with Skyline women. Then these girls that we had recent relationships with came and crashed our party. The Skyline girls left, probably because of the other girls. So that made us be in a bad mood and then that made those girls mad so they left. It ended up being a guys night of venting.”
Listen bud, if it’s got four wheels and/or wears a bra it’s gonna give you trouble for the rest of your life (someone very wise told me that). Give yourself a break and don’t start so young. Or it’ll be one eternal headache.
To those non Skyline girls I say…don’t even bother with those boys. Let them all practice and goof up on those Skyline ladies. Then when you’re like 20 something those boys will realize what they’ve been missing out on AND they’ve already learned what NOT to do with you. Perfect. Go for ice cream and a movie with your gal pals until then.
From a shy, nerdy girl:
“I’m thinking of writing a story about how the president of swing club created a mind control device and used it to control the minds of swing club members and used them to take over the school! (Insert evil laugh here)”
But then…so cute:
“I’ll miss you. I’m going to bring you Almond Joys on Thursday.” (I told them that was my favorite trick or treating candy).
How sweet. I’m going to miss these kids.
On another note: I’m so stressed. It seems like every day I think of five new things I need to take care of. Wish things would slow down.
At least my students are cool.
Friday, November 7, 2008
Deal?
I can understand why you’re angry. However now that you are mad at us about this can we finally be off the hook for polygamy? It hasn’t been practiced for over 100 years in our church and we’re still getting grief over it. It doesn’t make sense for you to criticize us for practicing an unorthodox form of marriage 100 years ago when that is what you are fighting to have the right for today.
Sincerely,
Heather Handy
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Halloweekend
The goodness of the weekend was underscored by the awfulness of the preceding week. It was the end of the quarter so grades were due and so I did nothing but grade and grade and grade. My lessons suffered as a result of my grading which my co-operating teacher was kind enough to point out. Maybe he forgot that I'm teaching four of his six classes for zero pay while he sits and watches without offering any help. Anyway it just added insult to injury. My students were crazy. With the end of the term and a short week and Halloween they were just crazy. Wouldn't listen or cooperate which was made even harder by my bad lesson planning.
The first thing that happened that week that made me feel the love was that my mom and sisters Mary and Sarah sat down with me on Wednesday night and helped me get all my grading done. My mom and I sat there from 7-ll. She was really insistent that I get everything done so that I could have the day off on Friday. I wasn't going to argue with that.
Thursday was just terrible. Ugh. After a bad day at school I had to go to my weekly two hour seminar. On my way there my mom called and asked if I could run to the airport after my class and pick up my dad because she had to run to Orem to help my grandpa. Trusting daughter that I am I didn't think about it too hard. (like it was weird that my dad's car was in the drive way this morning and that I saw him the night before) I just figured that she had spent the night before helping me with my grades so I was willing to do anything she asked me to do for her.
On my way to the airport I took advantage of the quiet moment to call Will. I hadn't really been able to talk to him all week because of how busy I was and he was. But now my week was over. It went straight to voicemail. Weird. Even if he was sleeping or at the gym it still would have rung. Maybe it was dead. I left a message as I approached the airport. I pulled up to the curb where you pick up arrivals scanning for my dad. My phone rings. Its Will. Where are you? The airport, picking up my dad. Where are you? Oh I stopped by the mall on my way home from work.
Someone stopped suddenly in front of me. I braked. He asked what was wrong. I explained. I looked up and tried to see around the car in front of me. Wait...that guy looks A LOT like Will. But Will's in a mall somewhere in Cleveland. But this guy is on the phone. And he's saying the same things that the Will in my ear is saying.
He came to Salt Lake City to see me. He (with my mom's help) completely surprised me. I didn't think I would get to see him til Thanksgiving and I didn't know how I would make it. But he took care of both of us by buying a plane ticket and coming to see me.
Nobody has ever done anything like this for me. Ever.
Apparently everybody knew. From my sister at UVU to my neighbor down the street. Apparently it was hard to keep it a secret. They over-estimated my cleverness. Maybe if I hadn't of had such a busy week I would have been more aware. They were 100% successful. I was 100% suprised.
It was so fun to have him here. We went to a Halloween party in Orem in matching skeleton t-shirts. We went and saw Thriller. I took him to Crown Burger and he thought it was the weirdest place he'd ever been. And once he mentioned it, I realized it really is strange. We played two on two basketball with my dad and Mary. He played video games with Michael and went to the Rec center with Mary and Sarah. My mom spoiled him like crazy. I was afraid he would start to believe pumpkin pie and new clothes would appear whenever he expressed a wish for them. He met Molly and Co. And Jill and Beckie and Heidi.
I was sad to see him leave again but it was so much easier knowing that he'll be back in three weeks. Three weeks people! Mark your calendars. We'll go bowling and for fro yo.
I feel so loved. Thanks.
Monday, October 20, 2008
My Trip to the Bahamas (or The Booze Cruise)
Anyway, back to the cruise. The cruise line was Holland America and our ship was the ms Westerdam (like a beaver). SYSCO chartered the ship, meaning the only passengers on the ship were SYSCO salespeople and their guests being rewarded for doing a good job. From what I found out, the ship held 1200-1300 passengers however because it was a chartered cruise there were only 800-900 passengers on our cruise. I also found out that the ship had 800 crew members. That’s right there was 1 crew member for every passenger. I kept looking around and wondering where my personal servant was but I guess they had specific assignments like, cook, steward, DJ and stuff like that. The other exceptional thing about this cruise was the liquor package. All drinks under $7 were free. For me that meant a lot of Diet Coke. For everyone else that meant a lot of alcohol. So what did I have to complain about?…not much it was, after all, a Bahamian cruise. Here are the highlights and the lowlights…you tell me if I’m justified.
Tallest Father-Daughter couple: My dad’s tall. I don’t always realize it because he’s just my dad but when we’re around other people and I see their reactions I realize that he’s a big guy. I feel pretty confident in saying he was the biggest guy on the boat. That already attracts a lot of attention. Then you factor in his personality which is friendly, warm, and frat boyish and he’s a pretty likeable guy. Once all these strangers take in this big man they look at who he’s accompanied by. Me. And I think I was taller than all the other men in the group. If you know me you know I don’t like attention to be drawn in my direction. (Thus no karaoke). On top of that, I’m a tad anti-social and I unintentionally (most of the time) put off a “please don’t talk to me” vibe. Now factor in that I was way younger than everybody else, I was my dad’s daughter not his wife (most everyone else in the group of my dad’s associates we spent time with were husband and wife), and (here’s probably the thing that made me feel most marginalized) that I don’t drink. You can (try to) imagine how out of place I felt.
Most Awkward Moment: We get on the ship, everyone gets a drink and we tour the ship a little bit. Which was big and incredible. After a while my dad and I decide to go find our room which I am certain would have twin beds in it. I thought there was no way my dad would be so clueless as to not request separate beds. Turns out he wasn’t, but one of the 800 crew members didn’t do their job right and there was just one queen sized bed in that little cabin. As I do my best not to complain (free cruise remember) my dad just shrugs his shoulders and says “Oh well.” Now the part that I haven’t told you is that for as long as I’ve known him my dad has slept in his underwear. I thought that for sure, considering the circumstances he would wear something more to bed. I underestimated the redneck ways of my father. Yes, that’s right, for three solid nights I slept in the same bed with my underwear-clad, slightly tipsy father on a rocking ship.
Biggest WTF Moment: We boarded the ship late Thursday morning. I was ready to jet set but we weren’t scheduled to sail til five in the evening. So I spent the day watching people drink and drink and drink and tried to find some common ground with any of the people I was going to be spending the next three days with. There was some technical problem (they needed to replace the back-up back-up generator) and we didn’t sail til nine. By that time I was ready to go. I felt like I had been traveling for two days and had yet to get anywhere. I woke up the next morining in Nassau. I was excited. We get off the ship, my dad and I and two other couples, I grab the nearest free map and begin to figure out where things are and what I want to see in this new place, keeping in mind that its not my trip and that I’ll probably follow the adults around. Well I follow the adults straight into a bar. The hell? I couldn’t believe it. I just spent the entire day before watching middle aged people drink themselves silly without a single soul to make a smart remark to about it the last thing I wanted to do was repeat that on this beautiful island that I had never seen before. On the ship I was trapped. Couldn’t go anywhere else but now I was off the boat and I was going to see this new place. So for the first time I spoke up and told my dad I wasn’t sitting there even if it meant I was going alone. He agreed that he didn’t want to sit there (I wonder if he ever felt like he was babysitting me?) and so we and the two wives we were with left and saw some of Nassau.
(Side note: I love traveling but I hate tourism…that’s a whole other blog altogether)
Movie Moment 1: Despite feeling like the black sheep the whole time and a little bit of seasickness there really isn’t anything as romantic as sailing. We had to leave Nassau by 4:30 to sail at 5:30 and after I showered and slept a little bit I sat in the complimentary white robe at a dressing table doing my hair and make-up for that night and I glanced out our balcony window at the Caribbean Sea passing beneath me and the setting sun. Perfect. I’ve never felt more like a movie star. It was romantic.
Movie Moment 2: The next morning we stopped at an island called Half Moon Cay, a tiny island that is privately owned by the cruise line. This was far and away the best day. It was exactly what you think of when you picture a Caribbean island. White powdery beach, clear blue warm water. For a beach person like me I couldn’t imagine a better way to spend my day. My dad had signed us up to go snorkeling that afternoon, which was fun. He got really sick on the boat ride back though. When a man that big looks that sick you can’t get out of his way fast enough. As soon as the boat stopped he was off with me scrambling to grab our things and run after him. He wanted to go straight back to the ship but I didn’t want to leave the island nor get back on the ship any sooner than I had to so I staid. I was a little tired of being in the sun so I sat on a shaded bench on the beach. It wasn’t long before a young man approached me. I figured right off he must be a member of the crew because he looked Filipino. (Among the 800 crew on board the only white ones were the captain, head chef, entertainers and card dealers everyone else looked to be from an island in southeast Asia). Turned out he was Indonesian and his name was Jetti. We sat and talked for awhile and I couldn’t help but feel like Baby in Dirty Dancing. He kept taking pictures with me I guess so that he could send them home to show his mom he met a white girl. I don’t know. He was a cool guy though. He was in his last month of a ten month contract. He had done the Alaskan cruise for awhile and the Panama canal cruise and this was his first Caribbean cruise. He said that for however long their contract was they worked 10-12 hour days 7 days a week. That’s intense. You’d think it would be a cool way to see the world but not if you’re kept below deck the whole time and never got days off. They wouldn’t hire me anyway, unless it was to sing or something and I’ve already mentioned how I feel about that.
This has gotten really long so I’ll quit and if you’ve made it this far I congratulate you. I just wanted to add a few more things.
Sunburns feel better in October
Bahamian mosquitoes like me just as much as American ones do. The only dark spot on my day
at Half Moon Cay.
I refrained from ordering milk with my dessert when everyone else was having coffee at least three times in order not to appear more like a child than I already felt.
My dad just called me and told me that he’s received emails from his co-workers that said it was a pleasure meeting his charming daughter and he must be so proud. I guess I didn’t give off such a party-pooper vibe after all.
I was asked multiple times why I didn’t drink. Most the time I answered with a shrug of my shoulders and a look that said I don’t really want to get into my deep, personal, theological reasons but I’m still cute. Only one guy pressed it beyond that. His first interpretation was “you don’t like to?” Again I shrug. “Are you LDS?” Bingo. His response to that was “Well, your bishop isn’t here so go ahead.” And he was right my bishop wasn’t there. So I ordered a vodka martini with three olives.
Just kidding.
Monday, September 22, 2008
The Middle Way
1. If you're not uncomfortable you're not growing. If you are not growing you're decomposing, atrophying. There is no standing still in any aspect of life you're either moving foward or backwards.
2. In accordance with Buddhism, and Mormonism I believe that any extreme is a form of self-indulgence. There is such a thing as too much of a good thing. Even something like excersise, education, or family...in the extreme it becomes self-indulgence. Savvy?
Peace and Love,
HH