In Honor of St. Valentine

This has been a long time coming...I've developed a new philosophy...it may not be healthy but we all indulge in a little self-destructive behavior once in awhile and I know when enough is enough so I'm not worried. Here goes:
I've never been a big dater, for a few different reasons that I won't get into here but I think that because of the rarity of dates I had, the importance that society placed on them and my own naivety I adopted a "take what you can get and be grateful" kind of attitude towards dating. And that was fine for that time in my life...but now I sit here on the eve of Valentine's Day 2008 and evaluate the change in my attitude towards dating that has been developing over the past year. Here's what I've come up with:

It sucks. It really does. And I can understand why we're all so scared of it. It hurts like he--. But the thing is is that it has to be done. Even if the church wasn't telling us we need to be together our bodies would be. So we have to do it. And it's a 100% gaurantee that you're going to get hurt and that you are going to feel stupid so you might as well get over that right now, because if you can't you might as well throw yourself off a building or something. I know that that sounds really dramatic but really, you can't get close enough to someone to experience the joy that makes all this crap worth it unless you're willing to risk your heart. If you're not willing to make that risk then...Game Over. Sorry you're done.

So here's my new philosophy:
It (sucess in dating) doesn't seem to happen when you play by the rules, and it doesn't seem to happen when you don't play by the rules so you might as well do whatever you want. If I'm going to fall down and bloody myslef up I might as well get what I want in the process. Is that wrong? Should I feel bad that I'm not content sitting and waiting for it to come find me? Now please don't think that I've thrown my values out the window. I'm not talking about making out with everyone you see I'm talking about getting what you want and not settling, not being content with whatever gets sent your way. Be happy. That's all I'm saying. Go about dating so that if it doesn't work out with someone you have no regrets. If that means sitting alone in your bedroom hoping for someone to come knock on your door then do it!. If that means leaving Mountain Dews on boys' porches and running away then do it! If it means telling someone how you feel at the risk of them not returning those feelings then risk it! Like I said its guaranteed that you'll get hurt and that you'll feel stupid so you have to evaluate and choose what will hurt the least (knowing or not knowing, calling or not calling, trying or not trying). I had a good friend tell me to pursue someone for as long as it is fun. When it stops being fun then stop, even if it makes you a fool, at least you had fun.

Life's hard enough. Let's not make it harder for each other. Lets not waste each other's time and play with each other's hearts. If you're feeling it then do it! If you're not then that's fine too. You can't help it. Whatever you do do it deliberately! If he's not that into you then Who the Hell Cares! Pick yourself up dust yourself off and move on to the next one cause there is someone better down the road.

Plan on getting hurt, plan on feeling like the biggest fool anyone has ever seen and get out there and live your life. You'll never score a basket if you don't shoot the ball and I promise that at the end of the day you'll walk away with more hits than misses.

Here's some things I know:

• When relationships are good they are REALLY good when they're bad they're REALLY ugly
• Love is a battlefield.
• When you're dreaming with a broken heart the waking up is the hardest part
• You're worth whatever you believe you're worth
• What goes around comes around
• You can't force it and you shouldn't have to try to
• Nothing worth having is easily obtained
• You can't always get what you want but sometimes you might find, you get what you need.

I feel like this is a little half-baked. I might polish it after it sits for a little while but as Sadie is the only person who is paying attention I'm not too worried about this being seen before its ready. Love you Sade! (The best part is is that none of this really applies to you)