Reader Beware: Long, Theraputic Rant Ahead

I hate to add fuel to the media firestorm that has revolved around Tiger Woods lately but its upset me and I'm upset that its upset me...so I'm gonna write about it. If you, (like me) feel that this topic has already received as much publicity as it deserves than by all means please move on to looking at funny/cute pictures of cats or watching youtube videos. But here's my cathartic 2 (more like 200) cents...

I read this article

And I didn't like the things it had to say. I'm referencing it because I think that its what got me worked up enough to write about it.

Here's the reasons I'm upset about this whole Tiger thing:

1. I like(d) Tiger. I've never been interested in the game of golf except for him. He's a successful, good looking, athletic family man. The picture of him excelling at the game his upstanding father taught him and then taking home his winnings to his wife and babies is irresistible to me. But now what with all that's come to the surface he obviously isn't that man. The real Tiger Woods that I’m beginning to see is someone that is a little repulsive to me.

2. That's the next thing that has upset me. If he is so obviously not the seriously dedicated, family man that I've always liked than I can only feel betrayed by sponsors, publicists, ads, and agents that have created this public persona for him. I feel like such a fool that they've tricked me into liking a man (and as a result his stupid, stuffy, “Gentlemen Only, Ladies Forbidden” sport) that doesn't exist. If they (sponsors, publicists etc...) can so easily make me believe in this façade what else are they deceiving me about? Can I trust the picture painted of any public person? I don't think I can or should.

3. And I don't think the media is any better. They're all looking for a way to cash in on this. Every pundit is spinning it in whatever way is most beneficial to them. Most say he should get out in front of it and publicly apologize and disclose everything. Who does that benefit? His wife? His kids? You think it would be good for him to publicly drag himself through the mud? Please. Will my life be better or worse if Tiger publicly confesses his sins to me? The only people such an act would benefit would be the people that would report it to the public. Maybe some think it would restore the faith and trust of his fans. I say that with his home life hanging in the balance this should be the least of his worries.

4. The thing that I’m most upset about is obviously the infidelity. The word makes my skin crawl. I realize that I come from a conservative culture. And that my religion, culture, friends, family and my own personal feelings put marriage on a very high pedestal, but this is (I hope) despicable viewed from any perspective. How can someone be so selfish? In my mind that is the absolute worst possible thing a person can do to their spouse. What a fool he is if he thought his selfish behavior wouldn’t have an effect on anyone and that no one would find out. How humiliated his wife must be. How unfair to his children. If he was single, fine, go get yourself infected and be with the shallowest kinds of women that live in this world. But when you’ve made the commitments he’s made, both privately and publicly I’m only left to think that he is a stupid, selfish, very small kind of man with no thought but for his own pleasure. It seems to me that Tiger must be suffering from an ego so big he's become dysfunctional.

If you are the best in the world at what you do, and you have more money than you know what to do with and you can’t handle being married to a beautiful woman who is the mother of your beautiful children without resisting the temptations of other women then GET A DIVORCE. It happens all the time. You wouldn’t be the first Tiger, and its probable you’d lose some popularity but it couldn’t possibly be worse than what is happening now.

Idiot.

The author of the above article states that he doesn't know Tiger and Elin's sexual values and neither do we, and that many couples (particularly wealthy good looking couples) have "open-marriages". I feel pretty confident in saying that Elin's not feeling this whole situation though.

Along those lines, since this fiasco has happened I’ve heard and read a few people comment that monogamy doesn’t work. That we as humans, are not meant to be monogamous. And that the biggest sin Tiger has committed was being careless and getting caught. What a load of crap. The people that say that are the kind of people that want to have no responsibility for their actions. Yeah right, humans aren’t meant to be monogamous, is that why we have been since the dawn of our existence? I guess that explains why people have been choosing to pair up and live their lives and raise families with one other person for thousands of years because it sucks so bad. Again, what idiots. You have only to consider the risk of pregnancy and disease to see why monogamy is a good idea.

Imagine what would happen to society (is happening to society?) if the family breaks down. Chaos. I’ve studied enough history to be able to see that when the family stops working everything stops working…That’s when the Germanic tribes invade from the north and destroy your capital and enslave you to a foreign ruler. Sounds like a sweet deal yeah?

5. In the article above the author explains that for people like Tiger who are that rich and that famous there is a certain “rockstar” mentality and expectation. That being if you’re not getting a ridiculous amount of extramarital tail you’re a sissy or something. Here’s what the guy says:

“A heterosexual male celebrity athlete/entertainer who likes to socialize faces tremendous pressure from longtime friends and corporate friends to entertain. If the boys are hitting a club, South Beach or Las Vegas, it's Tiger's job to attract the women. This is far more important than Tiger picking up the tab or securing a lady for himself.”

Again this seems like a really weak excuse for bad behavior. As a married man if you can’t handle the pressure of going out…don’t go out. If you love going out too much and can’t give it up, then get yourself single man.

I’m sure that rich, famous, good-looking men are under a kind of pressure I can’t even begin to understand (*rolls eyes). I remember reading a report about my favorite womanizing, egoticstical, crooner being spotted in a gay night club. So obviously he’s gay right? JM’s response to the rumor was that he wanted to go out and have fun without every half dressed, drunken woman in the place throwing themselves at him. I can see how that would get annoying and all I can say to that is shame on those women. I’m embarrassed and ashamed for them.

At this point I feel like I’m condemning the whole world but I’m not quite done yet.

6. Some have spun this as a racial thing…Its getting so much coverage because she’s a attractive white woman…his women on the side are white etc…Shaq is getting a divorce from his black wife because he cheated on her and no one’s batting an eye. The author of the article says that “White America” feels betrayed…that Tiger’s been given all the perks and privileges and now we just feel betrayed. I can't even begin to comprehend the complexity of that can of worms so my only response to that is that this bit of White America doesn’t care how much money Gatorade loses or the color of his Swedish wife. Tiger’s still an ass. Shaq too for that matter, and what’s his name from South Carolina.

7. Lastly, Its hard to believe how professionally irresponsible Tiger’s behavior has been. He’s the face of some pretty big companies and really for the game of golf. The amount of money these entities will lose because of his selfishness is staggering.

What a jerk. Sorry Tiger…I wanted to be on your team but you’ve made it impossible.

This has made me feel better but its SO LONG. I’m really sorry. I won’t be mad if no one reads it.

On the plus side (!?) there's been some excellent puns come out of this whole affair (pun!)

My fave: What's the difference between a golf ball and an Escalade? Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball 400 yards.

Yuck yuck yuck...

HI

Lately I haven't been in the mood to write much. So I'm going to do something I rarely (never really) do. Post pictures instead of words.

We had a great time in Hawaii:


At the temple in Kona

Mom insisted we have lunch in this gross parking lot. There were cigarette butts everywhere. I spied a piece of cardboard I thought might make a good place to sit but then I realized I would have to fight 5 homeless men for it. When we were through I found a prophylactic on the ground in between where my mom is and where I took this picture.

Sarah's favorite part of the trip.

This bird almost bit Carly's face off.



My new bff that I swam with.


A lava tube we came upon about fifteen feet from the ocean that was filled with crystal clear fresh water.



The height of sophistication: Mt. Dew in stemware.

Pineapple Princess


These boys love to make their dad laugh.

Me and M. Bart.

We had a great time. Lets go again!

Oh, public education...

http://founditsharedit.wordpress.com/2009/10/26/the-best-exam-answers-yet/

The solo's really long, but its a pretty song

"This is how it works
You're young until you're not
You love until you don't
You try until you can't

You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breathe
Until their dying breath

No, this is how it works
You peer inside yourself
You take the things you like
And try to love the things you took

And then you take that love you made
And stick it into some
Someone else's heart
Pumping someone else's blood

And walking arm in arm
You hope it don't get harmed
But even if it does
You'll just do it all again"

Thanks Regina.

A Memory, Just in Time for Halloween

When I was in middle school I walked to and from school everyday. I usually walked with two friends that lived in my neighborhood. Our normal route took us past the Cottonwood Heights Rec Center. On particularly cold days we would cut through the Rec Center for an extra minute of warmth.

One day I was walking home alone. I must have had to stay late that day. I cut through the Rec Center and decided to pay my water bill at a small, little used restroom near my exit. There were only three stalls in the bathroom and noting that all the stall doors were open (giving me the impression I was alone) I chose the middle stall. I go about my business but before I'm finished the silence was cut with a chilling, Halloween worthy, female scream coming from the stall on my right. It scared me so bad I stopped mid-stream, yanked up my pants and got the heck out of there, my exit punctuated by a second scream.

In hindsight, my adult, emergency response trained self thinks I should have checked to see what was wrong. But I was SURE I was alone in there. It freaked me out and I could not do anything but get out. I couldn't use that bathroom again for years. I still don't know what happened. Maybe it was all in my head?

Anyway,

Happy Halloween!

The Ugly Side of the Sacrament

Bet you didn't think there was one did ya? Neither did I until this morning.

It's my ward's month to clean the church. I signed up to help for today. After being slightly delayed this morning I showed up about fifteen minutes late. I'm still pretty new to my ward and so I didn't know the young man standing in front of the custodial closet door who after quickly scanning the list posted on the door gave me one of the jobs still left. He asked me clean the sacrament preparation room and wipe out all the sacrament trays.

I was kind of excited. I had never been in that room before. I knew it wasn't going to be some ornate luxurious room but just the fact that I had never seen one gave the job an air of mystery and excitement. Just to dispel any romantic notions YOU might have about the room it's little with a counter and a sink and some shelves.

Immediately after registering what the room look liked, my sense of smell was accosted. It stunk. Bad.

Due to the small proportions of the room it didn't take me long to identify the cause of the smell. In the corner was a tall trash can three quarters of the way full with discarded sacrament cups and (brace yourself) bits of wet, moldy, black and blue, fuzzy bread. It was so gross.

Because of the offensive smell I decided I would start with taking the garbage out. I pulled on the bag and it was HEAVY. I got it high enough to see that rank, stinky water was dripping from the bottom of the bag. And as soon as I disturbed the fetid mess the stink increased ten times.

I pulled my shirt over my nose and pulled the trash can onto the stand to get it out of the tiny room. I wiped trays down, counter and sink and it was about this time my roommate Rachelle comes by having finished her job and asks what smells so bad. I show her and her only response is "Boys." She ran to grab two trash bags, one to double up the dripping nasty one and one as a replacement.

When she comes back, shirts over our noses, we double bag that sucker and she hurries away to the dumpster with it. Leaving me with the trash can that still has a quarter inch of stinky water, pieces of beyond recognizable bread and a few tiny plastic cups floating in the bottom. The stink is still overwhelming. I thought about just tossing the can and letting someone in charge know that the sacrament prep room needed a new one. But I remembered that usually the custodial closets have tallish sinks (for lack of a better word) with drains on the floor and faucets with a short hose on them. I dragged the can in there and started rinsing it out. I got the can pretty clean but the bits of "bread" and cups were caught in the drain. So I put on a latex glove and right as I'm about to fish the stuff out the last of the cleaning party shows up at the closet, including the young man who assigned me the job.

"What is that?" he asks disgustedly.

"This is what was in the bottom of the garbage can in the sacrament preparation room." I reply.

Now here comes the worst part of the story. This guy then proceeds to say, like he's patting himself on the back, that that's why he gave that job to a woman. Because we're so "detail oriented" and men clean that room up all the time and miss stuff like that. What?! Taking out the stinking, moldy, mildewy trash that has been neglected for months and months is detail oriented?! And only the sensitivity and discerning eye of a woman could catch such a subtle offense. He would have been better off complimenting ME and not generalizing my sex as the world's best man's trash taker outers. Maybe I'm overreacting...

Anyway...

The second worst part about cleaning up that room was wiping old lipstick off of the bottom of the water trays. There's something you never think about.

Happy Sabbath tomorrow!

The Dentist and I

I went to the dentist today. An appointment I keep every 6 months. I'm kind of starting to realize that this is more frequent than most adults see the dentist if there's nothing bothering them but I try to do it for a couple reasons:

1. Because I'm still on my parent's insurance and I can

2. Because growing up I had really bad teeth. I had cavities every time I went. I even had a couple root canals on baby teeth. Ridiculous right? Thanks to growing up and (relatively) regular brushing and flossing I seem to have it under control but I'm still paranoid that if I don't stay out in front of it my teeth will just turn black and fall out.

Going to the dentist for me is always an ironic experience. I hate going to the dentist. I don't really like having my teeth cleaned and I REALLY don't like having anything beyond that done. But I love my dentist's office. Here's a list of things I like about the dentist:

• The receptionist and hygienists. I've been going to the same dentist for years and years. They've known me a long time. They know every member of my family and what order we all come in. When Ryan was gone they always asked how he was. They know what my degree is in. They know I have a boyfriend. They know I moved to Ohio. And now they know I'm back. I feel like I could almost count them as friends. Except most of my friends don't put their fingers in my mouth. MOST of them. (hee).

• While the music that plays is the softest rock that's ever existed and makes me want to cry with boredom there are tv's in the ceiling which if I'm just going in for a cleaning I usually don't bother with but if I'm having something more serious done its a nice way to pass the time and a good distraction when the drill and clamps are at work. Yuck.

• The nitrous oxide. Nuff said.

• I really like that heavy apron they put on you when they do your x-rays. Is that weird? I always want them to just leave it on me.

• The warm towel they give you to wipe your face when you're done.
  

Now here's the stuff I don't like about the dentist:

• Everything else.

The rest is just varying degrees of super unpleasant to downright painful. It sucks and I hate it.

But I go all the time. What's wrong with me?

The other thing that I find incredibly ironic about going to the dentist is I go in feeling fine. No problems with my mouth whatsoever. They'll tell me I have a cavity. So I go in to get it fixed. I leave. The spot they worked on now bothers me. What the crap? Are they just making stuff up? Like there isn't enough dental problems in the world they have to make up work to do in my mouth. Stupid. I'm pretty sure the Bartons alone have paid for Dr. Gleave's second home in St. George.

Sigh.

and another thing...

This is scary. I either need to become a vegetarian or find a way to eat healthily raised meat. I'm glad I don't have to worry about feeding kids. Its hard enough for me!

http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1917458,00.html

This is a good idea. And maybe a way to improve the problem in the first article...

http://www.cnn.com/2009/POLITICS/10/05/ruiz.obesity.tax/index.html?iref=newssearch

I saw the movie that article refers to and it was disturbingly gluttonous. A not so subtle nod in our direction.

My new favorite show:

http://www.hulu.com/the-biggest-loser

Makes me feel motivated. But the irony of watching people work out INSTEAD of working out is not lost on me.

And finally, some energy (read: money) saving tips:

http://www.usatoday.com/money/industries/energy/2009-10-15-how-to-lower-heating-costs_N.htm

Just some stuff I've been reading/thinking about.

Happy Fall

A Parallel

I've long believed that outside of Mormon culture drinking (of the alcohol variety) is less a personal choice indicating if you stand on moral high ground or grovel in a pit of societal filth and more just something that you do. When you're 5 you go to kindergarten, 13 you're officially a teenager, sixteen you drive a car and somewhere around there I would imagine you have your first drink. Its a coming of age sort of thing...a rite of passage, a cultural experience, more than a moral choice an individual makes. An average American youth whose parents drink casually and responsibly I don't think ever has a moment where a switch is flipped in their head and says "I think today is the day I will start my descent into hell" and goes and has a drink. That's the way that we (Mormons) are taught to think about drinking (not the descent into hell part the individual choice part). To us it IS a choice between right and wrong, good and evil. A drink to us is a very decided step in the wrong direction. Because (sigh) we know better.

As you all know I am not a drinker. Nor will I ever be. If you really must know I think it is gross, wasteful, and if this makes sense at all, insincere. I really don't respect it or appreciate what it does to people and to families. However, some of the people I love very most are drinkers. And in my time observing them I've been able to draw an interesting parallel with drinking culture and Mormon culture (are you curious?????)

In the following examples please substitute the word "drink" with the words "ice cream":

"Hey its your birthday! Let me buy you a drink!"

"Hey I think you're cute and nice, can I take you for a drink?"

"You got a new job! Awesome! Let me buy you a drink!"

"I haven't seen you in so long! Lets go get a drink now that you're back in town."

"We won our league's basketball championship! We're meeting up for a drink."

"Hard day at work? Wanna go for a drink?"

"You're boyfriend broke up with you? What a jerk. Lets go for a drink."

etc. etc.

Interesting right? Who knew ice cream was such a big part of our culture. No wonder Utah is the number 1 consumer of ice cream.

And in any of these scenarios I personally would substitute ice cream with fro yo. Or vodka but that's just me.

Peace.

"No amount of coffe, no amount of crying, no amount of whiskey, no wine, nothing else will do. I gotta have you" -- The Weepies

The Epic Tragedy of Wall Drug (pronounced wale droog)

I drove across the country over the holiday weekend. An experience I would encourage everyone to have at least once. It really gives you some perspective on how big our country really is and there's nothing like seeing the crappy middle of nowhere towns some people live in to make you appreciate where you live. I told Molly somewhere in Wisconsin that I kind of wanted to just go to someone's front door and say "You know you don't have to live here right? There are better places than this."

When I drove cross country the first time in January we took I-80 through Wyoming, Nebraska, Iowa, Illonios, Indiana and finally Ohio. It was straight and flat and boring. Eastern Wyoming and Nebraska where the worst. Things got a little better through the I states. More of what you tend to think of when you think of Middle America: rolling hills, farmhouses, elephant eye tall corn etc.

On the way back Molly and I decided to take I-90 which took a little out of the way to the north so that we could see Mt. Rushmore. Something I've always wanted to do but knew I would never plan a trip there. Its very out of the way and in the middle of nowhere, you see.

Our first leg of the journey took us via the Ohio turnpike through Indiana and up through Chicago. We stopped for the night in Beloit, Wisconsin just over the state line. We ended up paying a little over $20 in tolls. Ridiculously infruriating. Especially to someone who has traveled miles and miles of good roads for free out west. Listen up you east side midwestern states: Take a look at whatever it is we're doing out here and copy it because driving through your states sucks.

Next day brought us Wisconsin, Minnesota (which boasts 10,000 lakes but I only saw a little pond) and finally South Dakota.

Whatever South Dakota lacks in natural beauty when compared to its neighbors it makes up for in quirkiness. The road was flat and straight but I got the feeling that the residences of the state didn't take themselves too seriously, and weren't afraid to exploit anything as some sort of attraction. I saw some pretty strange yard art (skeleton of a man leading a skeleton of a dinosaur on a leash) and a palace (read small indoor basketball arena) made of corn, but the most intriguing thing about the state was Wall Drug.

We hadn't been in SD for too long before we starting seeing signs for Wall Drug. We continued to see these signs for all 350 miles we were in the state. Some had cowboys on them, some dinosaurs, I saw rockets and Santa Clause all advertising Wall Drug. Is it a town? A store? As we neared our destination for the night (Rapid City) the signs became more frequent and I finally asked Molly to look up what Wall Drug was on her phone.

A google search revealed (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wall_Drug) that essentially Wall Drug is a big, old drugstore that had free ice water, five cent coffee and homemade doughnuts.

It is truly a testament of how stir crazy we must have been for this to cause the excitement it did. We were stopping. No matter what. We were getting our free ice water, home made doughnut and five cent coffee we wouldn't drink. We exited at Wall, SD. Followed the signs, excitment building and building. We were finally going to see the Wall Drug! We pulled up and parked. It was serioulsy half a block long. It was built in the style of the old west. So excited. We approached the door...and I wish I was making this up... I extended my hand to open the door...and...the lights went out. The door was locked. It was only eight o'clock at night! We had come so far! For the love! After all the build up and not even a free ice water. Biggest let down of the trip. So sad.

To add insult to injury we got some real crappy food at the cafe across the street.

Again sorry for the long post. I promised myself I would keep this short. Maybe because I wait so long in between blogs it builds up and all comes out at once like blog vomit.

Eaters of the World Unite!

So I just finished reading this book...

It fits into two new interests of mine; healthy eating and non-fiction. It got me pretty fired up. Poor W has born the brunt of it.

The book was In Defense of Food. It laid bare some very interesting points about the culture of eating we're caught up in today. Its killing us. Its really killing us. Due to modern medicine people today are dying less and less from infectious disease such as the bubonic plague or small pox but now we are dying of diet related illnesses: Obesity, diabetes, heart disease and cancer. Yuck right? These things can be hereditary but for the most part they are diet related. Is it a coincidence that these diseases have been on the rise ever since fast food, and processed food have taken the place of home cooking in our lives? I submit that it is not. Ever since we let the food industry, government , and Ronald McDonald tell us what to eat and kicked Mom out of the kitchen we've become the fattest and possibly the most unhealthy eaters in the world. Never before has such a well fed population been so malnourished. What a giant contradiction!

Why have we started listening to nutritionists and scientists to find out what we should eat when for thousands of years humans have flourished on trusting their own senses and eating what their mothers feed them? Why are we suckered into one eating fad after another? They tell us to eat a diet low in fat, low protein and high carb, then low carb and high protein, now antioxidants and omega 3s are all the rage. Could it be that scientists can't see the whole picture? Why do we keep trusting them when they are continually proving themselves wrong or at least finding out that they don't know as much as they thought they did.

So here's the skinny (pun!):

If it has a health claim on it you should avoid it. For real. Take margarine for example; when margarine hit the scene it was hailed as a miracle because it took the place of butter but cut out all the reasons butter is bad for us. Fast forward 30 years and scientists are finding that the heart attacks they thought margarine was saving you from its actually causing. Because, think about it this makes a lot of sense, once the "bad fats" that are in butter are eliminated they have to replace it with something else. This something else turns out to be something synthetic, man made. That's right, a man engineered fat that is far worse for you than the original fat (which actually turns out to be good for you) in butter. Whoops. How could the human body be expected to deal with something that doesn't occur in nature better than something its been eating forever. So really if it claims to be low or reduced fat...stay away from it...you're better off with whatever nature provides...

Which brings me to my next point. Fruits and veggies can't make health claims. The biggest sin we might be commiting in our diets today is the sin of omission. Vegetarians aren't healthier because meat is bad for you they are healthier because they eat more fruits and veggies. Our poor diets might be less the result of what we ARE eating but more a result of what we ARE NOT eating. If you've got a 12oz steak on your plate is there much room for anything else? Poor fruits and veggies can't wear shiny labels that say "Now with more vitamin C!" or something to that effect. A carrot is a carrot is a carrot and it will always be good for you.

So much of what we are eating is the result of clever marketing. The food business is just that: a business. They are not interested in your health they are interested in making a profit. And the worst part is is that not even the government is looking out for you! Companies will pay big bucks to get the FDA to label something or word something a certain way in their favor. When nutritionists found out that eating grains where good for us (duh!) Cold cereal makers hit the big time. Its all about money. And we fall for all of their marketing ploys.

Another thing that was startling to me is that today the average American is getting somewhere near 80% of their calories from only three sources: corn, wheat and soy. This is a scary thought when you consider we are omnivores. We require a diverse diet to get all of the nutrients we need. If it comes in a box or a bag you can count on it having one of those three grains in them. Yikes.

So how do we avoid all of the traps laid for us? Follow these simple rules:

1. Don't eat anything your great great grandmother wouldn't recognize as food. When I read this I thought of Cheetos. Would someone who hasn't been alive for the past twenty years know that a Cheeto was edible? I don't think so. The book cited Go-gurts. You could tell Grandma it was yogurt but if you look at the ingredients is it really just yogurt?

2.Which leads me to the next guideline: Don't eat anything packaged with more than 5 ingredients. Take bread for example. Bread is made from flour, yeast, water, salt, maybe some butter or oil. Next time you buy bread check out the ingredients label. What is all that stuff?!

3. Don't eat anything you can't pronounce. If you can't pronounce it you probably don't know what it is. If you don't know what it is how do you know its good for you?

4. Stop snacking. Its a lot of calories, a lot of food we don't need. Never sit down with a box or a bag.

5. Don't eat alone (if you can help it). One of the things that has changed dramatically from our greatgradmothers time is not just what we eat but HOW we eat. We eat increasingly on the run. In our cars...quickly in between tasks at work. Its not healthy. We're losing our food culture. And our society is suffering as a result. Think of all the things that are/can be/should be taught at a family dinner table. How many families really take that opportunity? Also if you don't eat alone you are more likely to be aware of how much you are eating because of those around you.

6. Cook more. The book pointed out that never before has a society spent so little time and so little money on what it eats. Think back 150 years ago. If providing food for yourself and your family wasn't your full time job (farming) it was the second most time consuming element in your day. By spending a little more time and a little more money everyday we will be eating healthier. If you cook for yourself you never have to wonder what's in what you're eating. After having a frustrating experience in the kitchen W asked me why I like to cook. I told him its because I like being able to enjoy (and have others enjoy) something I created. When put like that he could see how it could be rewarding. But besides work what should take up the most time in our day to day? Food of course! But does it? DOES IT?!

So that's it for the most part. I'll climb down from my soap box. Since reading the book I definitely haven't kept to these guidelines 100% but I am more aware of what I'm eating and that's the first step to being healthier.

Sorry my posts are so long. If I were you I don't know if I could make it :) Thanks for reading.

An Open Mind

An Open Mind

Recently I had someone I care about tell me that it didn’t take him very long after meeting me to realize that I was a religious person. He worried that because he thought that I was religious there was a good chance that I would be close minded…

When did these two ideas become associated with each other?

And from what I understand about religion shouldn’t this be the other way around? I am religious therefore I am open-minded? Doesn’t someone believing in something greater than themselves, putting their trust and faith in something unseen, being humble enough to admit that they don’t know all the answers or have control over everything sound pretty open minded? Is this not a good description of a religious person?

For me, someone who can’t see beyond himself /herself or has to see something to believe it…that is a close-minded person.

What determines a religious person anyway? Their values? How much faith they exhibit? The ordinances they participate in? How often they go to church?

What’s funny is that before I moved away from Utah I never considered myself to be a religious person. I know that that sounds crazy to some people who know me but I really didn’t. If I imagine a friend describing me to someone it would go something like, “she’s kind of tall, likes to read, big family, doesn’t drink or swear, history major, teacher, makes a mean batch of muddy buddies…” but not “She’s religious.” Maybe it’s because the culture I come from is religious…I couldn’t see the forest for the trees or something. I’ve just always considered myself a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints but not a “religious person”. Once I moved away though I realized that I was unique. Not because I had a religion but because I was a DEVOUT member of that religion. I was surprised to learn that not everybody who is religious is devout.

So maybe I’m a devout person but not a religious one?

I try to be an obedient person. Maybe that’s what makes me religious. To me obedience isn’t and never will be a bad thing. I tend to cringe at the term “blind obedience” which is something that people of my faith are often accused of. Is it so hard to believe that I live my life a certain way because I KNOW it will make me happy? I don’t think that it might, or guess and cross my fingers, or (worst of all) ignorantly follow a kind, old, charismatic leader. I KNOW it’s right. And even if I don’t have a full understanding I have faith that someday I will. And I guess that’s what gets me about debates over issues where religion is on one side and “open-minded” people are on the other…I feel like non-religious people never take into consideration the fact that there is an element of faith to our reason. There is an unseen power that you can’t begin to understand unless you’ve felt it for yourself. And most critics of religion don’t take that into account let alone try to really understand it.

Religion doesn’t stick to tradition because its all that it knows and is scared to progress. Is it so hard to believe or consider that traditional values are good because they are founded on true principles? And its my humble opinion that in the scope of human history tradition often becomes progressive.

Truth is truth no matter where you encounter it. Its not right or wrong, good or bad. You can’t have an opinion on it, or make excuses for it. Its truth.

Maybe instead of open or close minded a more correct term in this situation would be tolerant or intolerant?

Last thing I want to say is that I know some really terrible things have been done in the name of religion. And that makes me sad because some things people do in the name of God I know God would never put his name on. Hatred, fear, violence, these are things God would never approve of let alone endorse. I believe He is incapable of such ugly feelings. He is by definition, love.

I asked a lot of questions in this post which may have seemed rhetorical. If you feel however that have the answers to some of the things I asked please way in.

Oh and once I saw a t-shirt that defined a liberal as someone so open minded their brain had fallen out. Harsh but clever!

The Best Part of My Day

"Are you guys ready to go swimming?"
Half the four year olds sitting on the side of the pool respond with an enthusiastic "YES!" or "NO!" while the other half don't respond at all.
"Alright well I'm excited! Go ahead and get in the water safely the way I showed you."
The kids proceed to roll on to their little bellies and scoot their little bums down into the water.
"Now that we're in the water what comes next? What do we do now?"
Crickets...
"We've got to get our hair wet! Like this..." I make an exaggerated show of holding my breath, submerging, and jumping out of the water with wet hair and a smile on my face.
"What's that called? What do you guys need to do?"
We've done the same thing in the same order for the past five days. The kids know what they're supposed to do. They even know the name of it the move. They are just being shy.
"What's this called?" I show the kids the skill again.
I think of all the ways I could prompt an older audience to give me the name of the skill I just demonstrated...
We do it with apples at Halloween...
Danny Tanner of Full House: ______ Saggett
Hairstyle worn by Flapper girls in the roaring 20's
Lorena _____it
Finally Adam who is bigger than the other kids but is generally pretty timid gets brave and yells
"KEBABS!"

Dear Cleveland,

I'm really sorry about the Cav's loss. I know you had a lot of hope riding on them what with the disappointment that the Browns and the Indians are.

Let me be so bold as to make a suggestion...that you fill that void, that emptiness and disappointment, with something much more lasting and powerful than Lebron James could ever be...something that will never abandon you or let you down, or trade owner's hands...

Come be a part of a team that will never lose...

www.mormon.org

(rolls eyes at self) For reals though, if Clevelanders have a common deity it is athletics. And the amount of faith they show in teams that fail them is staggering. I know there is a better bank to invest in so to speak...

I'll stop before I get going.

Luv.

Earth Day

First up I'm home and so is Ryan and its awesome.

Secondly, yesterday was Earth Day. I subbed for a social studies class and the teacher left a video on global warming. In a few of the more mature classes I started a discussion on global warming and what they thought about it. Typical of teenagers there was a wide range of opinions all of them super dramatic...
some had no concern for any of it real or not...
some didn't believe it was happening at all...
some believed that it will soon destroy our earth and our lives...
some believed that it was a hopeless situation and there was nothing that could be done to stop it.
I asked the class how they personally could help reduce global warming and when I suggested walking, or riding the bus instead of driving everywhere they scoffed...how lame...when I suggested a bike one girl pointed out that bikes were made in factories and that factories cause lots of pollution (good point)....I countered by telling her that once a bike is made there are no emissions when you use it...smart aleck (but clever) girl says:
"Well don't we emit carbon dioxide when we exhale?"
Me hesitantly, "Yes,,,"
"If I rode a bike everywhere I'd breath heavier, that'd be bad for the environment."
10 points for that girl.

So all that thinking and talking got me thinking about my own solution for global warming and I think I came up with a pretty solid one that will make the maximum amount of people happy.

Complete annihilation of the human race.

Its a quick and efficient solution to our problem...Conservatives will be happy because they'll go straight to heaven because they were right all along. Liberals will be happy because its dramatic and lasting and a complete departure from traditional methods. With humans gone the environment wins.

Polar bears will rule the earth.

So simple. I bet you're embarrassed you didn't think of it.

Best of Substitute Teaching

Here's some highlights and low lights of my time working as a sub in the Lakewood City School District:

1. 2nd grader coming into class and gasping, "A sub!? She's beautiful." And then running and giving me a hug.

2. Having a high schooler ask me if I was white.

3. An elementary school folk dancing assembly which ended with me in a chain of fourth graders doing the bunny hop.

4. Playing catch with a severely autistic student with one of the those big plastic grocery store balls.

5. Being caught off guard by another severely autistic student when he emerged from his napping space completely naked from the waist down after having peed everywhere.

6. Playing the piano for a choral class. (smithishot@hotmail.com)

7. Disappointing a Spanish class by actually speaking Spanish.

8. Boring a history class with a discussion on Communism vs. Capitolism when all they want to do is get to the assignment their teacher left them.

9. Watching Fresh Prince of Bel Air with a class of under achievers.

10. Having angel classes with awesome plans and being able to read ALL day.

11.Knowing probably 50% of the 7th grade students names at Harding Middle School and having them be excited to see me.

12. Being totally ignored by off task High schoolers.

13. Students recognizing me and saying hello around town.

14. Using the same activity with 7th graders that I did the day before with 2nd graders and having them both be excited and engaged in it.

My biggest complaint with substitute teaching is the inconsistency. Except for that its not a bad gig. I still get to feel kind of like a teacher but without all the work and responsibility. On good days its like teaching. On bad days its like extreme babysitting. I don't want to have to do it for too much longer (I can't afford to really) but it hasn't been all bad..

"Hey teacher leave those kids alone!" -- Pink Floyd

The Shins

I might have to take back what I said in my last post about the bad music in Gilmore Girls because the last episode I watched featured The Shins!!!!! Not just their music...they were in the episode playing! I heart them.

"Cuz this is nothing like we'd ever dreamt
Tell Sir Thomas Moore we've got another failed attempt."

And in response to Sadie's comment on my last post: Yes it is very scripted but like I said the emotion feels real. That's what keeps me coming back.

Love you.

HH

What the Inside of My Head Looks Like

I have so many things that I REALLY want to write about. I'm kind of happy about this because I haven't felt this way in a long time...I'll try not to do it all at once...just vomit every thought in one blog...if I was smart and patient I'd spend the time to really, appropriately clear my head but it may just all have to come out now...

1. Gilmore Girls...This show and I haven't always been friends. For a long long time I just thought it was a silly girly show where the women talk way too fast guaranteeing a headache for any viewer. Through a series of events I don't want to take the time to describe I've become a pretty serious follower of Lorelei and Rory. Here's what I think: This show is much better than I originally gave it credit for. Yes they talk fast and make the most obscure references in almost every sentence (does anybody get ALL of them??? If you do call me. You're the smartest person I know. I only get about half) and the music is abominable (except Carol King in the opening credits) but at least once an episode at least one of the characters exhibits a depth and complexity I don't think I've seen anywhere else on television. You get the feeling that these are real people with real human responses to the slightly unreal situations the writers put them in. If you watch House or Grey's Anatomy or some trauma drama show like that the amount of tragedy one character endures in one episode is so enormous and so over the top it would put a normal person in the ground for sure. And they have such unnatural responses to it. But these Gilmore girls and the people in there lives have problems you can believe and responses to them you can believe. I mean its still television...the scenarios are still over the top but its better than I gave it credit for. Thanks Rachelle for watching with me.

2. I've been reading kind of accidentally a lot of books about African colonialism lately. I really want to write about that but its not time yet. What I do want to write about is the men in these books. Lately the male figures in the books I've been reading have frustrated me. Causing me to redefine my view on feminism. I don't subscribe to traditional feminism its much to severve for me, but I do support individual women getting the love and respect they deserve in their individual lives. Whatever that means for them. Now the new idea brought on by my reading: I don't want to be equal to a man (why would I want to be like a man?)...I want a man to ACT (not be) equal to me. I'm talking about sharing...sacrafice...service...This may seem backwards. Maybe it is. Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about...The men in the books for the most part are collectively LAZY, and to some degree abusive...Obviously not all men are like this but when I think of most monogamous relationships I know of , whether the woman works outside the home or not, she carries most the load on the home front. Again not true for everyone. This is a little true too in the single/dating world I've experienced. The men that I've been reading about would only participate in what they felt like was "man's work" which mostly consisted of heavy lifting, higher thinking, killing something and drinking on the porch with their friends. This meant that EVERYTHING else was left to the women. If you consider all it takes to keep a family and home running especially if their are children involved this is not an equal share of labor.

So let me back up...I'm not coming down on dudes. You know I love you right dudes? These are fictionaly dudes I'm talking about. I'm just saying that for me...in whatever sort of situation I'm currently in or end up in I want there to be a sharing of work and responsibility...a feeling of "I've got your back" or "I'm on your team". That sounds so romantic to me. This goes the other way too. If I need to work outside the home I'll work outside the home. Its a team effort.

Is this feminism?

3. Along those lines I was struck by the thought today that we are affected and in some way changed by every relationship we have with another person. Obviously it stands to reason the more significant the relationship the more significant the change. This happens because when we are in a relationship (friendship, romance, familial, work etc.) we are offering some part of ourselves to that person. If its a mutually successful and healthy relationship the other person is offering some part of themselves back. Thus by giving of ourselves and recieving (the trust?) of someone else we are changed. If you feel that you are unchanged by your relationship with someone it is because you are only taking from the relationship and not giving back. In a word I believe it is called selfishness, and behind that word is probably another ugly one like fear, hate, sadness.

Imagine if you will two people who give 100% of themselves 100% of the time to the other. The force, the energy, and power that this...there is no other word for it...love would create would be huge, unimaginable...I don't know if the world could contain it. (Oh geez I just rolled my eyes at myself) but seriously, I do think that the level that we humans do manage to give to each other provides enough energy that it is what makes the world rotate...the sun to rise in the morning and people to get out of bed and live their lives. I know that when I only have myself to think about in a day its harder to get out of bed. When I was little I asked my mom why so many of the songs on the radio were about love. She replied that it was because love makes the world go round. Like she is with so many things...she was right.

I have a bunch of stuff to say about Ohio but I'll write it later.

I apologize to those that made it this far. Sometimes I should just write a journal entry and save everyone the trouble.

February

This month I've had more of a chance than I've ever taken for myself to think about Black History Month.

A friend shared this article with me:

http://www.cleveland.com/morris/index.ssf/2009/02/black_history_month_is_outlivi.html

I encourage you to read it and to really consider it.

If by chance you do not take the time to read it, it essentially asks the question of whether or not a Black history month is still needed.

My first reaction was no. Of course not. As long as we still separate ourselves by class or race or sex or religion in any way we cannot achieve equality. When are we just Americans? When will Obama not be my black president but my president? When is Woman's history month? When is Native American history month? When is Mormon history month? When does black history become American history?

The author of the article asks that with the election and inauguration of our first black president are we mature enough to accept our histories as one? When does this "pointless exercise of racial chest-bumping" become obsolete?

At first I agreed with him.

Then I was offered an alternate point of view.

Is black (or lets say any minority) history given as much time in an American classroom as white american (majority) history? As a history teacher I guiltily have been a witness to (even the reason) that no its not. Are black inventors and writers, activists and athletes revered and taught about as frequently? No they are not.

Until they are, maybe we still need a black history month.

I think though as we've been witnessing in our own time important and lasting milestones in black history that black history, more than ever is American history. As years pass and today is written in history books there will be less and less distinguishment over who's history is being taught and we will accept and understand that whether we are discussing the achievements of blacks, women, jews, gays it is OUR history.

Someday, I hope every month will be black history month...cuz my mom says "Once you go black you never go back" :)

Hunter

Yesterday my mom called me:

“Are you sitting down?”

“Yes,” panic rising, “What's wrong?”

“The Pathfinder is dead.”

(Sound of my heart breaking)

What a ride right? I'm not even there to say goodbye. I figured the best way to honor it was to write down some of my favorite memories about it...

My mom bought it for me for graduation while my dad was out of town. It wasn't the first time she had purchased a vehicle without him. I had gone and looked at the car and driven it around. I loved it but didn't speak up about it because I couldn't afford it and it was my parents' decision. Make that my parent's decision. I don't remember what the objection my dad had to buying the car but apparently their was an objection. One day I came home from lunch and it was parked in front of the house. When I got home from school it was gone. I thought that maybe my mom was taking it to have it inspected to see if it was worth buying...I played dumb. Two days later it reappeared. And it was mine. She bought it for me. I remember coming home as a family from something. My dad had gotten home from wherever he had been and it was in the driveway. This was the moment she chose to tell him she had bought it. This is the first and only time I have ever seen my stepfather angry. His face turned red and he didn't say a word. Just looked disbelieving at my mother. For a second I worried for their marriage. Naturally I felt real guilty at accepting this gift.

My mom bought it to get me through college. It did that almost to the day and more. It was important to her that I had 4x4 to get through Sardine canyon. It got the job done.

Places its been: Logan (countless times), Bear Lake (countless times), Flaming Gorge twice, Southern California, Mexico, Las Vegas, and its final and most character testing trip all through California this summer.

I remember sitting in the parking lot of Little Caesar's in Logan with some of the FDRs after letting Jill, Steph and Jenni give it a little test drive. We put the seats down in the back and ate a pizza pretending like we were comfortable and cool.

One winter Sarah, Mary, Carly and I were going sledding. We brought the dog a long and he managed to roll his head up in the back seat window.

I gave both of my brothers lessons on driving a manual car in that Pathfinder.

Long drives on my own with great music.

The Reeders, LD and the rift valley.

Ski trips to Beaver Mountain last spring.

Long, dark, winding drives on Highway 9 with the Santa Crew, Haley and Will. (and Alex D. shouting Fat Bottomed Girls).

Some dude in San Jose in a giant nice truck offering to buy it from me because it was so nice when I rolled into CA.

Leaving it unlocked at Disneyland.

Leaving it unlocked EVERYWHERE. And never having anyone take anything out of it until this October when someone looted it in front of my house.

Haley, Will and I baking through the California dessert. And then Haley and I continuing on through the Mojave and Southern Utah with no AC. We are all champions.

And continuing to drive it for a couple weeks after I got my new Subaru.

So after nineteen years and 186,000 miles you deserve a rest. What a good car. I miss it.

An Historic Day...For Southpaws

Being unemployed I watched more than my fair share of inaguration coverage today. What a proud day in our nation's history. How great would it be to be among the millions in Washington celebrating right now?

Think of the weight of history on President Obama's shoulders. All those years of trial, persecution and discrimination. Think of all the heroes...those champions of equality that have come before him and made this dream a reality. I'm so proud of our nation. We have overcome so much. We have elected out fifth consecutive left-handed president. A great step towards equality in our nation.

The universe is saying something. Are you listening?

Left-handers rule. Literally.

Apples to apples

I'm fully aware that of all the things that I could or should share with family and friends right now this should be at the bottom of the barrel. But this is important to me so I want to write about it:

Today, I made a break-through concerning my apple allergy.

When I was about seven years old I remember being in the car with my dad on the long road to Flaming Gorge. We had a few travel snacks and among them were a pair of apples. I ate mine and enjoyed it until my throat began to itch, then my mouth, then my tongue. There might have been some swelling too. It was extremely uncomfortable and I wondered if I would die.

I didn't.

But I kind of wanted to.

After that I noticed that it wasn't just apples that caused this reaction. To my dismay eating peaches, plums, nectarines, and pears became uncomfortable. I have a vivid memory of getting a Jamba (I think back then it was Zuka) Juice with some friends in middle school. I chose one that had fresh peaches in it and my top lip was cracked in the center. Well that angry little peach got in there and made the point at the center of my top lip swell to the size of a marble. Gross and embarassing.

So I've been annoyed and upset for a good amount of years over all this fruit I can't consume. Every once in awhile I would try one of these forbidden fruits to see if maybe, just maybe I've grown out of the allergy or that maybe it was just THAT apple or just THAT peach. But to no avail. Until recent years. Some of the fruit I've tried, mostly home grown stuff I've been ok with. That made me think it was a pesticides thing. So I tried organic apples at the grocery store. No good. Today though I made a break through. I've realilzed at least where apples are concerned that green apples are fine, red ones are the ones that do it to me. I'm like Snow White. Weird right? But now I can eat apples again! Can anyone figure this out? If you tell me its all in my head or that I'm faking it, we aren't friends anymore.

More on Cleveland OH later. I'm jobless thus have plenty of time to write.