If on December 31st 2007 the ghost of New Years Yet to Come had shown me what the year 2008 would bring me, I wouldn't have believed him. Nor do I think I would have understood what I saw.
To say the least 2008 was unexpected. My last semester in Logan was so long, so boring, I was dying for a change, for something new and different. So I went to California. The only expectations I had when I went out there was to have fun.
Expectation met.
Everything else about my time in California was completely unexpected. I didn't see it coming and I'm still not sure how it all happened.
I didn't even know his name when he put his hand on my waist as we crouched on a small wooden platform as part of a team building activity. I was taken by surprise twice in that moment. My first reaction was "Hey who does this guy think he is?" followed by something I didn't expect: that hand felt like it belonged there. It actually scared me. Surprise! I realize how hollywood that sounds but I won't pretend like it didn't happen like that.
The fall passed in a blur. I was working so hard as a student teacher that I think I didn't even have time to mark the passage of time. The weekends at the end of September, October and November stand out in my mind but everything else about the fall runs together.
Winter came. I graduated. 5 1/2 years in the making. A bright spot not just on 2008 but on my life.
And now its time for 2009 to start. Before July I don't think I knew where Cleveland, Ohio was. Now, because of what has happened in 2008 I will be moving there in two days. Even as I type this I can hardly believe it.
Some people have said that its a brave thing I'm doing. Maybe, but I don't feel very brave. It's just something I have to do. Unless I want to live the rest of my life wondering, I don't have much choice.
And the truth is with or without Cleveland I'm still at a crossroads in my life. I would still have to take a step into the dark, not knowing what was on the other side. The next chapter of my life is unwritten and I want to be its author. I don't want to wait around and have it written for me.
Sadie told me that of anyone she knows I can handle this experience and that I do well with the unknown. I responded by telling her that I'm equipped with the knowledge that the gospel is true, that Christ is my Savior, that my family loves and supports me and after that anything I don't know doesn't scare me. And I'm very willing to add to the store of things I DO know and take away some of the things that I don't. Seek and ye shall find.
Jenni told me she was proud of me and that gives me confidence.
My mom told me she would always be there which gives me peace of mind.
Will told me he loves me which inspires me.
Bring it on 2009.
Through all of this I am so grateful for a mother who encourages me and supports me in finding my way rather than try to keep me home and safe where nothing bad (or good) can happen to me. So much of who I am is because of her. I can't even begin to say how much she means to me.
Leap and the net will appear -- Zen saying
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Winter Travel
This weekend was my first experience flying in the winter time. I never realized it before but as I was crossing the country at 30,000 feet the entire country was frozen over. It was strange to think about...
So here are the worst things about traveling in the winter time:
1. The weather
2. Its really cold (aka the weather)
3. Flights are often delayed, canceled, or made more dangerous (because of the weather)
4. Traveling near Christmas was also an interesting experience. I think if a flight is canceled in January everyone will be inconvenienced and disgruntled however they might miss a work day or a class and who doesn't love a legitimate excuse to be kept from that stuff every once in awhile. But if your flight gets canceled near Dec. 25 everyone is a little more upset and panicked cause everyone wants to be home for the holidays.
So here's what happened to me. I left the Cleve Monday morning, flight was uneventful. I had a three hour lay-over in Chicago O'Hare. Huge airport, spent a bunch of time walking around, ate a Chicago dog and some caramel popcorn. My flight was on time but over booked. They asked for volunteers to stay the night in Chicago in exchange for Delta dollars. For about 15 minutes I stressed over what to do. On the one hand I'm jobless, thus poor, young etc. and I had nothing to lose by staying the night. On the other hand what if something went wrong with my flight the next day? Canceled? Delayed? It was only three days before Christmas.
I finally decided to stick around. So, Delta provided me with a hotel room at the Wyndham which was actually pretty nice. Free shuttle back and forth from the airport. A guaranteed first class ticket to SLC at 7:15 in the morning. $21 in meal vouchers and $400 Delta Dollars to be used however, whenever I want to in the next year toward flights. Not a bad deal. But I was still stressed about the next mornings flight.
Spending the night alone in Chicago three days before Christmas was kind of fun. I pretended like I was Kevin from Home Alone. I guess its Home Alone II that he spends in a nice hotel alone but that's in New York. I would have liked to have spent some time downtown but I was scared because I was alone and it was FREEZING outside. Seriously, so cold.
Woke up at 5:15. Airport was so crowded. Started to get stressed about the security line but because it was a first class ticket I got bumped to the front. Then I was selected for further screening which bumped me to the front of the front. Turns out I'm not a terrorist and it was on to a free breakfast and waiting for the flight.
I had about an hour of nervousness because there was a problem with our plane. We ended up being delayed about an hour and a half. Which considering...was not a big deal. A lot of people missed connecting flights out of SLC which was to bad but not me! Flying first class was sweet. Highly recommended. Not a bad a deal I took. Arrived home less than a day later no worse for the wear.
Wow this is really long and not that eventful. Sorry. Written more for me than you.
In closing I'll just say my weekend was great. Totally worth the hassle of air travel. Thanks Wilbur. But is it ok to say that I'm fine if I don't have to hop on a plane again anytime soon?
Next adventure: Me, Stu and the Subaru travel across the country. Stay tuned.
So here are the worst things about traveling in the winter time:
1. The weather
2. Its really cold (aka the weather)
3. Flights are often delayed, canceled, or made more dangerous (because of the weather)
4. Traveling near Christmas was also an interesting experience. I think if a flight is canceled in January everyone will be inconvenienced and disgruntled however they might miss a work day or a class and who doesn't love a legitimate excuse to be kept from that stuff every once in awhile. But if your flight gets canceled near Dec. 25 everyone is a little more upset and panicked cause everyone wants to be home for the holidays.
So here's what happened to me. I left the Cleve Monday morning, flight was uneventful. I had a three hour lay-over in Chicago O'Hare. Huge airport, spent a bunch of time walking around, ate a Chicago dog and some caramel popcorn. My flight was on time but over booked. They asked for volunteers to stay the night in Chicago in exchange for Delta dollars. For about 15 minutes I stressed over what to do. On the one hand I'm jobless, thus poor, young etc. and I had nothing to lose by staying the night. On the other hand what if something went wrong with my flight the next day? Canceled? Delayed? It was only three days before Christmas.
I finally decided to stick around. So, Delta provided me with a hotel room at the Wyndham which was actually pretty nice. Free shuttle back and forth from the airport. A guaranteed first class ticket to SLC at 7:15 in the morning. $21 in meal vouchers and $400 Delta Dollars to be used however, whenever I want to in the next year toward flights. Not a bad deal. But I was still stressed about the next mornings flight.
Spending the night alone in Chicago three days before Christmas was kind of fun. I pretended like I was Kevin from Home Alone. I guess its Home Alone II that he spends in a nice hotel alone but that's in New York. I would have liked to have spent some time downtown but I was scared because I was alone and it was FREEZING outside. Seriously, so cold.
Woke up at 5:15. Airport was so crowded. Started to get stressed about the security line but because it was a first class ticket I got bumped to the front. Then I was selected for further screening which bumped me to the front of the front. Turns out I'm not a terrorist and it was on to a free breakfast and waiting for the flight.
I had about an hour of nervousness because there was a problem with our plane. We ended up being delayed about an hour and a half. Which considering...was not a big deal. A lot of people missed connecting flights out of SLC which was to bad but not me! Flying first class was sweet. Highly recommended. Not a bad a deal I took. Arrived home less than a day later no worse for the wear.
Wow this is really long and not that eventful. Sorry. Written more for me than you.
In closing I'll just say my weekend was great. Totally worth the hassle of air travel. Thanks Wilbur. But is it ok to say that I'm fine if I don't have to hop on a plane again anytime soon?
Next adventure: Me, Stu and the Subaru travel across the country. Stay tuned.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Thanksgiving Rap (yep that's what I said)
Bahahahahaha! These kids kill me. So I asked my students to tell me about the story of the first Thanksgiving and that if they didn’t know it then to make something up. And did these two ever make something up. They made up a rap. A Peanuts rap no less! And if you really know me you know how I feel about Peanuts. Without further ado:
"Alright yo so you think you know about the first Thanksgiving
well na na you don’t. Here’s the throw down
lil Snoop Dawg went to Compton
with a homie named Charlie BROWN!
When they saw the turkey they shot em
And laid the bird out.
When Woodstock rolled up in a caddi
Saw that his brotha was down
Pulled out two 9 millimeters
And showed the mutha effer who’s boss.
A boy rolls up who can, it be
A lil white cracka named Linus G
He saw the shoot out that went down
And he about fell to the ground
The mutha trucka grabbed a fork
And started grubbin like a little pork
He stuffed himself so big
That he looks like a pig
Yeah Boiii"
I thought about editing some of their word choices for the sake of my blog…I don’t think even some of their fake cursing is school work appropriate but I didn’t want to compromise the integrity of their work.
I couldn’t believe this.
Even though I won't miss student teaching I'll miss these kids.
"Alright yo so you think you know about the first Thanksgiving
well na na you don’t. Here’s the throw down
lil Snoop Dawg went to Compton
with a homie named Charlie BROWN!
When they saw the turkey they shot em
And laid the bird out.
When Woodstock rolled up in a caddi
Saw that his brotha was down
Pulled out two 9 millimeters
And showed the mutha effer who’s boss.
A boy rolls up who can, it be
A lil white cracka named Linus G
He saw the shoot out that went down
And he about fell to the ground
The mutha trucka grabbed a fork
And started grubbin like a little pork
He stuffed himself so big
That he looks like a pig
Yeah Boiii"
I thought about editing some of their word choices for the sake of my blog…I don’t think even some of their fake cursing is school work appropriate but I didn’t want to compromise the integrity of their work.
I couldn’t believe this.
Even though I won't miss student teaching I'll miss these kids.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Coincedence?
I just realized that Obama Nation and Abomination sound very similar. I don't want to be a pessimist but...yikes. We still got time right?
*Editor's note: For the record I support our president elect and I'm excited to see what he'll do. I just couldn't ignore this.
*Editor's note: For the record I support our president elect and I'm excited to see what he'll do. I just couldn't ignore this.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Free Write
I gave my students the chance to write about whatever they wanted to write about to today. It was interesting to see some of the things they talked about when given the opportunity to say whatever they wanted to. Most complained about school, getting up early or excited to see Twilight this weekend but there were a few gems in the group . Let me share…
Surprisingly I had a poet in the bunch…totally unexpected…he’s the jock type…
“I wish it would snow
So I could go
All the way to see the show.
If it would snow then I could see,
All the snowmen watching me.
With buttons and carrots they stand so tall
Watching everyone hoping not to fall.”
Brought a tear to my eye.
Here’s another. I told them they had to write at least three sentences. This guy barely filled that requirement but at least he did it with unfailing optimism:
“Utah Utes will donimate BYU!! Jazz will go all the way to the finals. I will ace this upcoming history test.”
This one is filled with the kind of drama I was glad to avoid in High School and even I’m more happy I don’t have to deal with now.
“This weekend was so full of drama it was crazy! Girl drama that is. So on Saturday me and some friends were hanging out with Skyline women. Then these girls that we had recent relationships with came and crashed our party. The Skyline girls left, probably because of the other girls. So that made us be in a bad mood and then that made those girls mad so they left. It ended up being a guys night of venting.”
Listen bud, if it’s got four wheels and/or wears a bra it’s gonna give you trouble for the rest of your life (someone very wise told me that). Give yourself a break and don’t start so young. Or it’ll be one eternal headache.
To those non Skyline girls I say…don’t even bother with those boys. Let them all practice and goof up on those Skyline ladies. Then when you’re like 20 something those boys will realize what they’ve been missing out on AND they’ve already learned what NOT to do with you. Perfect. Go for ice cream and a movie with your gal pals until then.
From a shy, nerdy girl:
“I’m thinking of writing a story about how the president of swing club created a mind control device and used it to control the minds of swing club members and used them to take over the school! (Insert evil laugh here)”
But then…so cute:
“I’ll miss you. I’m going to bring you Almond Joys on Thursday.” (I told them that was my favorite trick or treating candy).
How sweet. I’m going to miss these kids.
On another note: I’m so stressed. It seems like every day I think of five new things I need to take care of. Wish things would slow down.
At least my students are cool.
Friday, November 7, 2008
Deal?
Dear people who are persecuting the Mormon Church for supporting Proposition 8,
I can understand why you’re angry. However now that you are mad at us about this can we finally be off the hook for polygamy? It hasn’t been practiced for over 100 years in our church and we’re still getting grief over it. It doesn’t make sense for you to criticize us for practicing an unorthodox form of marriage 100 years ago when that is what you are fighting to have the right for today.
Sincerely,
Heather Handy
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Halloweekend
How am I so blessed? What did I do to deserve to be surrounded by people who go out of their way to make me happy? I'm not sure but I hope I can keep on being deserving because I just had the greatest weekend.
The goodness of the weekend was underscored by the awfulness of the preceding week. It was the end of the quarter so grades were due and so I did nothing but grade and grade and grade. My lessons suffered as a result of my grading which my co-operating teacher was kind enough to point out. Maybe he forgot that I'm teaching four of his six classes for zero pay while he sits and watches without offering any help. Anyway it just added insult to injury. My students were crazy. With the end of the term and a short week and Halloween they were just crazy. Wouldn't listen or cooperate which was made even harder by my bad lesson planning.
The first thing that happened that week that made me feel the love was that my mom and sisters Mary and Sarah sat down with me on Wednesday night and helped me get all my grading done. My mom and I sat there from 7-ll. She was really insistent that I get everything done so that I could have the day off on Friday. I wasn't going to argue with that.
Thursday was just terrible. Ugh. After a bad day at school I had to go to my weekly two hour seminar. On my way there my mom called and asked if I could run to the airport after my class and pick up my dad because she had to run to Orem to help my grandpa. Trusting daughter that I am I didn't think about it too hard. (like it was weird that my dad's car was in the drive way this morning and that I saw him the night before) I just figured that she had spent the night before helping me with my grades so I was willing to do anything she asked me to do for her.
On my way to the airport I took advantage of the quiet moment to call Will. I hadn't really been able to talk to him all week because of how busy I was and he was. But now my week was over. It went straight to voicemail. Weird. Even if he was sleeping or at the gym it still would have rung. Maybe it was dead. I left a message as I approached the airport. I pulled up to the curb where you pick up arrivals scanning for my dad. My phone rings. Its Will. Where are you? The airport, picking up my dad. Where are you? Oh I stopped by the mall on my way home from work.
Someone stopped suddenly in front of me. I braked. He asked what was wrong. I explained. I looked up and tried to see around the car in front of me. Wait...that guy looks A LOT like Will. But Will's in a mall somewhere in Cleveland. But this guy is on the phone. And he's saying the same things that the Will in my ear is saying.
He came to Salt Lake City to see me. He (with my mom's help) completely surprised me. I didn't think I would get to see him til Thanksgiving and I didn't know how I would make it. But he took care of both of us by buying a plane ticket and coming to see me.
Nobody has ever done anything like this for me. Ever.
Apparently everybody knew. From my sister at UVU to my neighbor down the street. Apparently it was hard to keep it a secret. They over-estimated my cleverness. Maybe if I hadn't of had such a busy week I would have been more aware. They were 100% successful. I was 100% suprised.
It was so fun to have him here. We went to a Halloween party in Orem in matching skeleton t-shirts. We went and saw Thriller. I took him to Crown Burger and he thought it was the weirdest place he'd ever been. And once he mentioned it, I realized it really is strange. We played two on two basketball with my dad and Mary. He played video games with Michael and went to the Rec center with Mary and Sarah. My mom spoiled him like crazy. I was afraid he would start to believe pumpkin pie and new clothes would appear whenever he expressed a wish for them. He met Molly and Co. And Jill and Beckie and Heidi.
I was sad to see him leave again but it was so much easier knowing that he'll be back in three weeks. Three weeks people! Mark your calendars. We'll go bowling and for fro yo.
I feel so loved. Thanks.
The goodness of the weekend was underscored by the awfulness of the preceding week. It was the end of the quarter so grades were due and so I did nothing but grade and grade and grade. My lessons suffered as a result of my grading which my co-operating teacher was kind enough to point out. Maybe he forgot that I'm teaching four of his six classes for zero pay while he sits and watches without offering any help. Anyway it just added insult to injury. My students were crazy. With the end of the term and a short week and Halloween they were just crazy. Wouldn't listen or cooperate which was made even harder by my bad lesson planning.
The first thing that happened that week that made me feel the love was that my mom and sisters Mary and Sarah sat down with me on Wednesday night and helped me get all my grading done. My mom and I sat there from 7-ll. She was really insistent that I get everything done so that I could have the day off on Friday. I wasn't going to argue with that.
Thursday was just terrible. Ugh. After a bad day at school I had to go to my weekly two hour seminar. On my way there my mom called and asked if I could run to the airport after my class and pick up my dad because she had to run to Orem to help my grandpa. Trusting daughter that I am I didn't think about it too hard. (like it was weird that my dad's car was in the drive way this morning and that I saw him the night before) I just figured that she had spent the night before helping me with my grades so I was willing to do anything she asked me to do for her.
On my way to the airport I took advantage of the quiet moment to call Will. I hadn't really been able to talk to him all week because of how busy I was and he was. But now my week was over. It went straight to voicemail. Weird. Even if he was sleeping or at the gym it still would have rung. Maybe it was dead. I left a message as I approached the airport. I pulled up to the curb where you pick up arrivals scanning for my dad. My phone rings. Its Will. Where are you? The airport, picking up my dad. Where are you? Oh I stopped by the mall on my way home from work.
Someone stopped suddenly in front of me. I braked. He asked what was wrong. I explained. I looked up and tried to see around the car in front of me. Wait...that guy looks A LOT like Will. But Will's in a mall somewhere in Cleveland. But this guy is on the phone. And he's saying the same things that the Will in my ear is saying.
He came to Salt Lake City to see me. He (with my mom's help) completely surprised me. I didn't think I would get to see him til Thanksgiving and I didn't know how I would make it. But he took care of both of us by buying a plane ticket and coming to see me.
Nobody has ever done anything like this for me. Ever.
Apparently everybody knew. From my sister at UVU to my neighbor down the street. Apparently it was hard to keep it a secret. They over-estimated my cleverness. Maybe if I hadn't of had such a busy week I would have been more aware. They were 100% successful. I was 100% suprised.
It was so fun to have him here. We went to a Halloween party in Orem in matching skeleton t-shirts. We went and saw Thriller. I took him to Crown Burger and he thought it was the weirdest place he'd ever been. And once he mentioned it, I realized it really is strange. We played two on two basketball with my dad and Mary. He played video games with Michael and went to the Rec center with Mary and Sarah. My mom spoiled him like crazy. I was afraid he would start to believe pumpkin pie and new clothes would appear whenever he expressed a wish for them. He met Molly and Co. And Jill and Beckie and Heidi.
I was sad to see him leave again but it was so much easier knowing that he'll be back in three weeks. Three weeks people! Mark your calendars. We'll go bowling and for fro yo.
I feel so loved. Thanks.
Monday, October 20, 2008
My Trip to the Bahamas (or The Booze Cruise)
I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve never known anybody besides myself to complain about a free trip to the Bahamas, but I found a way! Just ask Will. In all fairness to myself I’ve never known anyone besides myself to go on a free trip to the Bahamas (unless you count Jenni which I don’t cause her parents paid for that). This trip was an all expenses paid rewards cruise for the top salesmen (and women) in my Dad’s company, SYSCO Foods. As my stepmom couldn’t go due to her recent procedure I was my Dad’s female companion. Before I go any further I’ll just put in a plug for SYSCO…if you’ve got any talent in sales you should look into working for these people. They treat my Dad very well. I think my dad is pretty good at what he does which helps but they are always sending him on free trips or he’s eligible to win Jeeps and stuff. Plus he gets like four weeks of paid vacation. He works real hard though…
Anyway, back to the cruise. The cruise line was Holland America and our ship was the ms Westerdam (like a beaver). SYSCO chartered the ship, meaning the only passengers on the ship were SYSCO salespeople and their guests being rewarded for doing a good job. From what I found out, the ship held 1200-1300 passengers however because it was a chartered cruise there were only 800-900 passengers on our cruise. I also found out that the ship had 800 crew members. That’s right there was 1 crew member for every passenger. I kept looking around and wondering where my personal servant was but I guess they had specific assignments like, cook, steward, DJ and stuff like that. The other exceptional thing about this cruise was the liquor package. All drinks under $7 were free. For me that meant a lot of Diet Coke. For everyone else that meant a lot of alcohol. So what did I have to complain about?…not much it was, after all, a Bahamian cruise. Here are the highlights and the lowlights…you tell me if I’m justified.
Tallest Father-Daughter couple: My dad’s tall. I don’t always realize it because he’s just my dad but when we’re around other people and I see their reactions I realize that he’s a big guy. I feel pretty confident in saying he was the biggest guy on the boat. That already attracts a lot of attention. Then you factor in his personality which is friendly, warm, and frat boyish and he’s a pretty likeable guy. Once all these strangers take in this big man they look at who he’s accompanied by. Me. And I think I was taller than all the other men in the group. If you know me you know I don’t like attention to be drawn in my direction. (Thus no karaoke). On top of that, I’m a tad anti-social and I unintentionally (most of the time) put off a “please don’t talk to me” vibe. Now factor in that I was way younger than everybody else, I was my dad’s daughter not his wife (most everyone else in the group of my dad’s associates we spent time with were husband and wife), and (here’s probably the thing that made me feel most marginalized) that I don’t drink. You can (try to) imagine how out of place I felt.
Most Awkward Moment: We get on the ship, everyone gets a drink and we tour the ship a little bit. Which was big and incredible. After a while my dad and I decide to go find our room which I am certain would have twin beds in it. I thought there was no way my dad would be so clueless as to not request separate beds. Turns out he wasn’t, but one of the 800 crew members didn’t do their job right and there was just one queen sized bed in that little cabin. As I do my best not to complain (free cruise remember) my dad just shrugs his shoulders and says “Oh well.” Now the part that I haven’t told you is that for as long as I’ve known him my dad has slept in his underwear. I thought that for sure, considering the circumstances he would wear something more to bed. I underestimated the redneck ways of my father. Yes, that’s right, for three solid nights I slept in the same bed with my underwear-clad, slightly tipsy father on a rocking ship.
Biggest WTF Moment: We boarded the ship late Thursday morning. I was ready to jet set but we weren’t scheduled to sail til five in the evening. So I spent the day watching people drink and drink and drink and tried to find some common ground with any of the people I was going to be spending the next three days with. There was some technical problem (they needed to replace the back-up back-up generator) and we didn’t sail til nine. By that time I was ready to go. I felt like I had been traveling for two days and had yet to get anywhere. I woke up the next morining in Nassau. I was excited. We get off the ship, my dad and I and two other couples, I grab the nearest free map and begin to figure out where things are and what I want to see in this new place, keeping in mind that its not my trip and that I’ll probably follow the adults around. Well I follow the adults straight into a bar. The hell? I couldn’t believe it. I just spent the entire day before watching middle aged people drink themselves silly without a single soul to make a smart remark to about it the last thing I wanted to do was repeat that on this beautiful island that I had never seen before. On the ship I was trapped. Couldn’t go anywhere else but now I was off the boat and I was going to see this new place. So for the first time I spoke up and told my dad I wasn’t sitting there even if it meant I was going alone. He agreed that he didn’t want to sit there (I wonder if he ever felt like he was babysitting me?) and so we and the two wives we were with left and saw some of Nassau.
(Side note: I love traveling but I hate tourism…that’s a whole other blog altogether)
Movie Moment 1: Despite feeling like the black sheep the whole time and a little bit of seasickness there really isn’t anything as romantic as sailing. We had to leave Nassau by 4:30 to sail at 5:30 and after I showered and slept a little bit I sat in the complimentary white robe at a dressing table doing my hair and make-up for that night and I glanced out our balcony window at the Caribbean Sea passing beneath me and the setting sun. Perfect. I’ve never felt more like a movie star. It was romantic.
Movie Moment 2: The next morning we stopped at an island called Half Moon Cay, a tiny island that is privately owned by the cruise line. This was far and away the best day. It was exactly what you think of when you picture a Caribbean island. White powdery beach, clear blue warm water. For a beach person like me I couldn’t imagine a better way to spend my day. My dad had signed us up to go snorkeling that afternoon, which was fun. He got really sick on the boat ride back though. When a man that big looks that sick you can’t get out of his way fast enough. As soon as the boat stopped he was off with me scrambling to grab our things and run after him. He wanted to go straight back to the ship but I didn’t want to leave the island nor get back on the ship any sooner than I had to so I staid. I was a little tired of being in the sun so I sat on a shaded bench on the beach. It wasn’t long before a young man approached me. I figured right off he must be a member of the crew because he looked Filipino. (Among the 800 crew on board the only white ones were the captain, head chef, entertainers and card dealers everyone else looked to be from an island in southeast Asia). Turned out he was Indonesian and his name was Jetti. We sat and talked for awhile and I couldn’t help but feel like Baby in Dirty Dancing. He kept taking pictures with me I guess so that he could send them home to show his mom he met a white girl. I don’t know. He was a cool guy though. He was in his last month of a ten month contract. He had done the Alaskan cruise for awhile and the Panama canal cruise and this was his first Caribbean cruise. He said that for however long their contract was they worked 10-12 hour days 7 days a week. That’s intense. You’d think it would be a cool way to see the world but not if you’re kept below deck the whole time and never got days off. They wouldn’t hire me anyway, unless it was to sing or something and I’ve already mentioned how I feel about that.
This has gotten really long so I’ll quit and if you’ve made it this far I congratulate you. I just wanted to add a few more things.
Sunburns feel better in October
Bahamian mosquitoes like me just as much as American ones do. The only dark spot on my day
at Half Moon Cay.
I refrained from ordering milk with my dessert when everyone else was having coffee at least three times in order not to appear more like a child than I already felt.
My dad just called me and told me that he’s received emails from his co-workers that said it was a pleasure meeting his charming daughter and he must be so proud. I guess I didn’t give off such a party-pooper vibe after all.
I was asked multiple times why I didn’t drink. Most the time I answered with a shrug of my shoulders and a look that said I don’t really want to get into my deep, personal, theological reasons but I’m still cute. Only one guy pressed it beyond that. His first interpretation was “you don’t like to?” Again I shrug. “Are you LDS?” Bingo. His response to that was “Well, your bishop isn’t here so go ahead.” And he was right my bishop wasn’t there. So I ordered a vodka martini with three olives.
Just kidding.
Anyway, back to the cruise. The cruise line was Holland America and our ship was the ms Westerdam (like a beaver). SYSCO chartered the ship, meaning the only passengers on the ship were SYSCO salespeople and their guests being rewarded for doing a good job. From what I found out, the ship held 1200-1300 passengers however because it was a chartered cruise there were only 800-900 passengers on our cruise. I also found out that the ship had 800 crew members. That’s right there was 1 crew member for every passenger. I kept looking around and wondering where my personal servant was but I guess they had specific assignments like, cook, steward, DJ and stuff like that. The other exceptional thing about this cruise was the liquor package. All drinks under $7 were free. For me that meant a lot of Diet Coke. For everyone else that meant a lot of alcohol. So what did I have to complain about?…not much it was, after all, a Bahamian cruise. Here are the highlights and the lowlights…you tell me if I’m justified.
Tallest Father-Daughter couple: My dad’s tall. I don’t always realize it because he’s just my dad but when we’re around other people and I see their reactions I realize that he’s a big guy. I feel pretty confident in saying he was the biggest guy on the boat. That already attracts a lot of attention. Then you factor in his personality which is friendly, warm, and frat boyish and he’s a pretty likeable guy. Once all these strangers take in this big man they look at who he’s accompanied by. Me. And I think I was taller than all the other men in the group. If you know me you know I don’t like attention to be drawn in my direction. (Thus no karaoke). On top of that, I’m a tad anti-social and I unintentionally (most of the time) put off a “please don’t talk to me” vibe. Now factor in that I was way younger than everybody else, I was my dad’s daughter not his wife (most everyone else in the group of my dad’s associates we spent time with were husband and wife), and (here’s probably the thing that made me feel most marginalized) that I don’t drink. You can (try to) imagine how out of place I felt.
Most Awkward Moment: We get on the ship, everyone gets a drink and we tour the ship a little bit. Which was big and incredible. After a while my dad and I decide to go find our room which I am certain would have twin beds in it. I thought there was no way my dad would be so clueless as to not request separate beds. Turns out he wasn’t, but one of the 800 crew members didn’t do their job right and there was just one queen sized bed in that little cabin. As I do my best not to complain (free cruise remember) my dad just shrugs his shoulders and says “Oh well.” Now the part that I haven’t told you is that for as long as I’ve known him my dad has slept in his underwear. I thought that for sure, considering the circumstances he would wear something more to bed. I underestimated the redneck ways of my father. Yes, that’s right, for three solid nights I slept in the same bed with my underwear-clad, slightly tipsy father on a rocking ship.
Biggest WTF Moment: We boarded the ship late Thursday morning. I was ready to jet set but we weren’t scheduled to sail til five in the evening. So I spent the day watching people drink and drink and drink and tried to find some common ground with any of the people I was going to be spending the next three days with. There was some technical problem (they needed to replace the back-up back-up generator) and we didn’t sail til nine. By that time I was ready to go. I felt like I had been traveling for two days and had yet to get anywhere. I woke up the next morining in Nassau. I was excited. We get off the ship, my dad and I and two other couples, I grab the nearest free map and begin to figure out where things are and what I want to see in this new place, keeping in mind that its not my trip and that I’ll probably follow the adults around. Well I follow the adults straight into a bar. The hell? I couldn’t believe it. I just spent the entire day before watching middle aged people drink themselves silly without a single soul to make a smart remark to about it the last thing I wanted to do was repeat that on this beautiful island that I had never seen before. On the ship I was trapped. Couldn’t go anywhere else but now I was off the boat and I was going to see this new place. So for the first time I spoke up and told my dad I wasn’t sitting there even if it meant I was going alone. He agreed that he didn’t want to sit there (I wonder if he ever felt like he was babysitting me?) and so we and the two wives we were with left and saw some of Nassau.
(Side note: I love traveling but I hate tourism…that’s a whole other blog altogether)
Movie Moment 1: Despite feeling like the black sheep the whole time and a little bit of seasickness there really isn’t anything as romantic as sailing. We had to leave Nassau by 4:30 to sail at 5:30 and after I showered and slept a little bit I sat in the complimentary white robe at a dressing table doing my hair and make-up for that night and I glanced out our balcony window at the Caribbean Sea passing beneath me and the setting sun. Perfect. I’ve never felt more like a movie star. It was romantic.
Movie Moment 2: The next morning we stopped at an island called Half Moon Cay, a tiny island that is privately owned by the cruise line. This was far and away the best day. It was exactly what you think of when you picture a Caribbean island. White powdery beach, clear blue warm water. For a beach person like me I couldn’t imagine a better way to spend my day. My dad had signed us up to go snorkeling that afternoon, which was fun. He got really sick on the boat ride back though. When a man that big looks that sick you can’t get out of his way fast enough. As soon as the boat stopped he was off with me scrambling to grab our things and run after him. He wanted to go straight back to the ship but I didn’t want to leave the island nor get back on the ship any sooner than I had to so I staid. I was a little tired of being in the sun so I sat on a shaded bench on the beach. It wasn’t long before a young man approached me. I figured right off he must be a member of the crew because he looked Filipino. (Among the 800 crew on board the only white ones were the captain, head chef, entertainers and card dealers everyone else looked to be from an island in southeast Asia). Turned out he was Indonesian and his name was Jetti. We sat and talked for awhile and I couldn’t help but feel like Baby in Dirty Dancing. He kept taking pictures with me I guess so that he could send them home to show his mom he met a white girl. I don’t know. He was a cool guy though. He was in his last month of a ten month contract. He had done the Alaskan cruise for awhile and the Panama canal cruise and this was his first Caribbean cruise. He said that for however long their contract was they worked 10-12 hour days 7 days a week. That’s intense. You’d think it would be a cool way to see the world but not if you’re kept below deck the whole time and never got days off. They wouldn’t hire me anyway, unless it was to sing or something and I’ve already mentioned how I feel about that.
This has gotten really long so I’ll quit and if you’ve made it this far I congratulate you. I just wanted to add a few more things.
Sunburns feel better in October
Bahamian mosquitoes like me just as much as American ones do. The only dark spot on my day
at Half Moon Cay.
I refrained from ordering milk with my dessert when everyone else was having coffee at least three times in order not to appear more like a child than I already felt.
My dad just called me and told me that he’s received emails from his co-workers that said it was a pleasure meeting his charming daughter and he must be so proud. I guess I didn’t give off such a party-pooper vibe after all.
I was asked multiple times why I didn’t drink. Most the time I answered with a shrug of my shoulders and a look that said I don’t really want to get into my deep, personal, theological reasons but I’m still cute. Only one guy pressed it beyond that. His first interpretation was “you don’t like to?” Again I shrug. “Are you LDS?” Bingo. His response to that was “Well, your bishop isn’t here so go ahead.” And he was right my bishop wasn’t there. So I ordered a vodka martini with three olives.
Just kidding.
Monday, September 22, 2008
The Middle Way
Two thoughts that I don't have time right now to fully realize but I wanted to put down real fast:
1. If you're not uncomfortable you're not growing. If you are not growing you're decomposing, atrophying. There is no standing still in any aspect of life you're either moving foward or backwards.
2. In accordance with Buddhism, and Mormonism I believe that any extreme is a form of self-indulgence. There is such a thing as too much of a good thing. Even something like excersise, education, or family...in the extreme it becomes self-indulgence. Savvy?
Peace and Love,
HH
1. If you're not uncomfortable you're not growing. If you are not growing you're decomposing, atrophying. There is no standing still in any aspect of life you're either moving foward or backwards.
2. In accordance with Buddhism, and Mormonism I believe that any extreme is a form of self-indulgence. There is such a thing as too much of a good thing. Even something like excersise, education, or family...in the extreme it becomes self-indulgence. Savvy?
Peace and Love,
HH
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Period of History
I started teaching today and it was so fun. I think they thought I was the biggest nerd but I was having a good time. My favorite part was when I made a joke about this guy's name (Hammurabi) sounding like "ham" and "wasabi". Worst sushi ever! They just looked at me like they couldn't tell if it was cool/ok to laugh. But it made me laugh for a little bit. And that's what teaching is all about. Laughing at your students. Hopefully they'll get to know me and realize I'm way cool.
Other favorite moment:
The class comes in and writes a response to a question on the board everyday. Last week I wrote "If you could be from any period in history what would it be and why?"
One of the answers was from a girl who said "If I could I would be in 2nd period because most of my friends are in that class period"
hahahahaha. Never underestimate how much sophmores DON'T understand.
Other favorite response:
From a dude: "I would be from before 1983 because then the John Mayer song entitled "83" would be a lot easier to relate to and would make more sense." Pretty sure I'm going to marry this boy.
So fun.
Something that I realized today that is not so fun...If I give the students something to do they're going to give it back to me and then I have to read it, comment and correct it and give it back to them. Essentially I'm creating more work for myself. This makes me wonder why I had so much homework as a kid. Those must have been some masochistic teachers.
And that's my life...love it.
"Come on let me love you just a little bit...I'm gonna teach you how to sing it out" Jackson Five
Other favorite moment:
The class comes in and writes a response to a question on the board everyday. Last week I wrote "If you could be from any period in history what would it be and why?"
One of the answers was from a girl who said "If I could I would be in 2nd period because most of my friends are in that class period"
hahahahaha. Never underestimate how much sophmores DON'T understand.
Other favorite response:
From a dude: "I would be from before 1983 because then the John Mayer song entitled "83" would be a lot easier to relate to and would make more sense." Pretty sure I'm going to marry this boy.
So fun.
Something that I realized today that is not so fun...If I give the students something to do they're going to give it back to me and then I have to read it, comment and correct it and give it back to them. Essentially I'm creating more work for myself. This makes me wonder why I had so much homework as a kid. Those must have been some masochistic teachers.
And that's my life...love it.
"Come on let me love you just a little bit...I'm gonna teach you how to sing it out" Jackson Five
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Ender Will Save Us All
Here's two quotes from Orson Scott Card. He writes a weekly column in the Deseret News that I like to read.
The first one is about truth:
OSC says: "True implies that you have found a connection that exists independent of your apprehension of it, that would exist whether you noticed it or not."
Basically he's saying that truth is like the awesome base line in a Red Hot Chili Peppers song. A lot of times you don't notice it but once you do you'll never hear the song the same again, and you realize that its what made the song worth listening to from the beginning. Yeah, truth is like that...
Although hard to find, true things are always worth the search in the end.
The other is about fear:
"Shunning [something] for fear of loss brings its own regret. What you build can be broken, at least for a time; but what you never try to build is lost forever."
So live your lives people. Without fear or regret but with faith and open hearts searching for truth and especially...love.
When did I get so corny? I'm going to go vomit.
"There's got to be something that would be worthwhile for me to give to you." Dashboard Confessional
The first one is about truth:
OSC says: "True implies that you have found a connection that exists independent of your apprehension of it, that would exist whether you noticed it or not."
Basically he's saying that truth is like the awesome base line in a Red Hot Chili Peppers song. A lot of times you don't notice it but once you do you'll never hear the song the same again, and you realize that its what made the song worth listening to from the beginning. Yeah, truth is like that...
Although hard to find, true things are always worth the search in the end.
The other is about fear:
"Shunning [something] for fear of loss brings its own regret. What you build can be broken, at least for a time; but what you never try to build is lost forever."
So live your lives people. Without fear or regret but with faith and open hearts searching for truth and especially...love.
When did I get so corny? I'm going to go vomit.
"There's got to be something that would be worthwhile for me to give to you." Dashboard Confessional
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Feminism...
I love it when some of my wandering thoughts that I put down in random places stand the test of time...I reencountered this note that I wrote almost two years ago and with all the growth and changes I've experienced in that time I still agree with myself. That leads me to think that maybe some truth exists in what I wrote. Which I hope there is cause its a little bit doctrinal...
I am not a feminist. I'm one of many girls who don't know what they want. I want to have equal rights with men but then in exactly the same moment I feel cheated if I don't get special treatment because I am not as privelged/strong/smart etc. as men are. Consider a co-ed ball game if you will. If boys ease up their game because they know they would school me if they didn't I get mad because they are not treating me like an equal player on the field or respecting my skills as an athlete but if they don't ease up their game and then they school me I'm angry because they took advantage of my comparative weakness. Confusing? Yes, I know. The answer? Equality is out of the question. Why? Because men and women are not the same so they should not be expected to have the same abilities/responsibilities/strengths. Many people outside of the church think that the ideal person would have both male and female characteristics. They would take the best traits of both sexes and thus they would have the perfect person. Inside the church we call this marriage. Perfection cannot be achieved within one person. We are different for a reason. Equality is out of the question because we are not equal. We are compliments of each other. It is in each other that we find the characteristics that our selves are lacking. Isn't it a beautiful plan? So I think that women (including myself) should stop competing and comparing themselves with men. We will never be that and we shouldn't want to be that. Although, we should also never stop demanding the respect from men that we deserve for the things that we do better than they do. And to men, don't patronize us for our weak arms or scoff at our lack of sports knowledge but treat us like the the other half of yourself that we are. We will try and do likewise.
Am I kind of patting myself on the back? No matter. Its a topic I've been considering lately. Its just nice to see that I've considered it before and came to the same conclusion. My mind is like a hamster wheel...
I'd like to add that I'm glad we have the vote and that we deserve the same pay and benefits for doing the same jobs as men. I also think that a women could be president of the U.S. however I think that we are too smart to want that job. That looks like a hard job. Only Hilary is crazy enough to try.
"I have to speculate that God himself did make us into corresponding shapes like puzzle peices" Postal Service
I am not a feminist. I'm one of many girls who don't know what they want. I want to have equal rights with men but then in exactly the same moment I feel cheated if I don't get special treatment because I am not as privelged/strong/smart etc. as men are. Consider a co-ed ball game if you will. If boys ease up their game because they know they would school me if they didn't I get mad because they are not treating me like an equal player on the field or respecting my skills as an athlete but if they don't ease up their game and then they school me I'm angry because they took advantage of my comparative weakness. Confusing? Yes, I know. The answer? Equality is out of the question. Why? Because men and women are not the same so they should not be expected to have the same abilities/responsibilities/strengths. Many people outside of the church think that the ideal person would have both male and female characteristics. They would take the best traits of both sexes and thus they would have the perfect person. Inside the church we call this marriage. Perfection cannot be achieved within one person. We are different for a reason. Equality is out of the question because we are not equal. We are compliments of each other. It is in each other that we find the characteristics that our selves are lacking. Isn't it a beautiful plan? So I think that women (including myself) should stop competing and comparing themselves with men. We will never be that and we shouldn't want to be that. Although, we should also never stop demanding the respect from men that we deserve for the things that we do better than they do. And to men, don't patronize us for our weak arms or scoff at our lack of sports knowledge but treat us like the the other half of yourself that we are. We will try and do likewise.
Am I kind of patting myself on the back? No matter. Its a topic I've been considering lately. Its just nice to see that I've considered it before and came to the same conclusion. My mind is like a hamster wheel...
I'd like to add that I'm glad we have the vote and that we deserve the same pay and benefits for doing the same jobs as men. I also think that a women could be president of the U.S. however I think that we are too smart to want that job. That looks like a hard job. Only Hilary is crazy enough to try.
"I have to speculate that God himself did make us into corresponding shapes like puzzle peices" Postal Service
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Missionaries in a Foreign Field
Can you believe this guy?! I love my brother so much. He articulated my feelings exactly. How awesome that we are so far away from each other experiencing such different things but feeling exactly the same thing? Here's an excerpt from his last letter:
"when everything in your life is changing, the only thing that really never does is the gospel of Jesus Christ, correct true principles given to us from god to make us happy, repentance, the atonement.the holy ghost is so amazing, our heavenly father is a smart one, I hope to always live my life in such a way where I am very aware and spiritually sensitive to the feelings and promptings I recieve. summer still changes to fall. life is still life, but life with the gospel is so much better.
"when everything in your life is changing, the only thing that really never does is the gospel of Jesus Christ, correct true principles given to us from god to make us happy, repentance, the atonement.the holy ghost is so amazing, our heavenly father is a smart one, I hope to always live my life in such a way where I am very aware and spiritually sensitive to the feelings and promptings I recieve. summer still changes to fall. life is still life, but life with the gospel is so much better.
In the words of the late Jimmy Eat World..."they say that love goes anywhere, in your darkest times it's just enough to know it's there"
thanks for all the love, it makes life a lot easier."
Life is still life but life with the gospel is so much better...How I wish that everyone I care about knew this. The clarity, direction and truth the gospel provides is worth everything else in this life put together.
I'm coming home soon. Strange. I've had such a great summer. Hope you have too.
"I've got a feeling, a feeling deep inside. I've got a feeling, a feeling I can't hide." -- The Beatles
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Fences
Agency
Obedience
Knowledge
Testimony
All these things have been on my mind. I think that I've found that as one increases or decreases so do the others. They reinforce each other. One more reason the gospel is so true.
The more I learn about alternative lifestyles the more I'm sure that the way that I (try to) live is the best. Is that arrogance or confidence?
One thing I'm sure of is that such confidence is not common. Most the people I've met since being in California have very little spiritual confidence. People seem so afraid to attribute the beautiful things of this world to God. Its hard for me to understand that when his presence and hand is so obvious to me.
Would people do some of the things they do if they felt and saw God's love for them and others? I know God loves these people and he wants them to be happy. And that knowledge makes me different.
I miss Haley. It's nice having another testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ around.
Love your life.
Obedience
Knowledge
Testimony
All these things have been on my mind. I think that I've found that as one increases or decreases so do the others. They reinforce each other. One more reason the gospel is so true.
The more I learn about alternative lifestyles the more I'm sure that the way that I (try to) live is the best. Is that arrogance or confidence?
One thing I'm sure of is that such confidence is not common. Most the people I've met since being in California have very little spiritual confidence. People seem so afraid to attribute the beautiful things of this world to God. Its hard for me to understand that when his presence and hand is so obvious to me.
Would people do some of the things they do if they felt and saw God's love for them and others? I know God loves these people and he wants them to be happy. And that knowledge makes me different.
I miss Haley. It's nice having another testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ around.
Love your life.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Since You've Been Gone
What up my bloggers????
I'm back online. For a moment. I'll probably get pretty regular internet access from now on although facebook is still blocked. But I get the notifications that someone has written on my wall in my email, so its still nice to feel the love. And please email if you can. I don't get cell phone service but if you text or leave a voice mail I'll get back to you when I get a signal.
So here's some things I want to tell you about my summer thus far:
I'm back online. For a moment. I'll probably get pretty regular internet access from now on although facebook is still blocked. But I get the notifications that someone has written on my wall in my email, so its still nice to feel the love. And please email if you can. I don't get cell phone service but if you text or leave a voice mail I'll get back to you when I get a signal.
So here's some things I want to tell you about my summer thus far:
- My Pathfinder is the shiz in California. Haley and I drove into CA from Reno and the first time we stopped was in San Jose for gas. The first thing anyone said to me in CA was "That's a nice car, are you interested in selling it?" This coming from a man driving a giant black truck with huge rims. Then when I drove into camp and met my boss. He said "sweet truck. What year is it? You've kept it in really good condition." So anyone who has ever criticized my car...California loves it and it knows cars better than you.
- Being in the religous minority is different. Haley and I have never hid our beliefs but we don't exactly advertise them. Slowly people caught on though and they have either been curious or not but I think they all think we're pretty cool. We know that they know that we are different but I don't think any of them realize how different we really are.
- At camp, being in the religous minority isn't that bad because the standards that the YMCA asks us to live for the sake of their campers are the standards that Haley and I choose to live everyday. There are some really awesome people out here. Good people.
- People who aren't LDS say the F-word alot.
- Not all people our age who are not LDS drink. Or drink to get drunk. Some don't like it. Some know that its unprofessional and tasteless.
- Some do drink to get drunk though. I've decided that I don't have a problem with people drinking. I have a problem with people drinking irresponsibly. I have a problem with underage drinking and with drunkeness. I don't really view drinking alcohol as a sinful behaviour for those that don't know better (they're not accountable) but when drinking breaks the law, I have a problem.
- Being a lifeguard again is...fun/wierd. There are definitely perks to not being a counselor but I'm kind of in this weird no-man's-land where I'm not a coordinator (in charge with no campers) and I'm not a counselor (not in charge with campers). I'm the lifegaurd (not in charge, no campers). I've been trying to work out a niche for myself and make myself more useful and I think that some have seen that I can be used in more ways than I am. I've started a little swimming lesson skill session that the kids can sign up for and I've been told that they've never really had anything like that going on at the pool.
- Playing capture the flag is fun.
- I don't get as tan as fast in California as I do at home because of the elevation
- The part of CA I'm in is full of hippies. For realsz.
- I'm old. I didn't really think it would be that big of a deal. But at the end of the day I find myself sick of hanging out with 18 year olds who think I'm old enough to be their grandma. I find myself gravitating towards the people in camp who are my age or older (or at least act like it) and a lot of times that is my supervisors and Will.
- Men who are not LDS can be just as charming and persistent as those that are. In fact its ironic because the things that I have found to be lacking in YSA males lately (degrees, jobs, ambition, self-motivation, desire to date) I've found here at my job in California...minus the LDS part. Can't these things exist together?
- I have nasty, nasty roommates who use my stuff and think that they are lesbians.
That's about all I've got for now. I would love to hear from whoever has the time to get in touch with me somehow.
My address is:
Heather Handy
YMCA Camp Campbell
16275 Highway 9
Boulder Creek, CA 95006
"If you love me won't you let me know" -- Coldplay
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
The Good Fight
Here goes:
I got a little upset in church the other day which is actually the opposite of what you want to happen when you go to church. The reason I got a little mad is because I heard two statments that I'm just plain sick of hearing. The first is the sometimes hollow reassurance that if you do not have the opportunity to marry and have a family in this life, and you desire that, you will have that opportunity in the next life. The second is that the family is under attack by the worst forces in the world. Before I go any further I need to say that I believe both of these principles to be true. I'm just tired of hearing them. And I guess I'm tired of hearing them because I'm a benchwarmer. And I can't say I've ever heard of anyone who is happy warming the bench (ask my brother Michael).
Onto my next point which is directly related to the one above: The family is under attack. I believe this with all my heart and it scares me. The greatest joy and comfort I've experienced in this life comes from my family. And to think that that is being destroyed, that millions of people are missing out on the greatest joys this life has to offer is staggering. We as members of the church, who know the truth, have been given the responibility of fighting this battle by creating strong homes where gospel priciples are taught, that are havens from the evils of this world. Here's where I get mad. I can name a solid 20 (if not more) women off the top of my head who want to fight this fight and have yet been given the opportunity to. They're benchwarmers. Plenty of these women are still young and I'm not worried about them but I know other women who may never get the opportunity to get what they want the very most from this life. It seems like such a terrible waste. A waste of love, talent, charity, righteousness. It's like everyone is starving and you have more bread than you need in the next room. Dumb! Think of the righteous generations these women could raise that this world may never see. And then think about all of the children being born in abusive homes, broken homes, homes where parents can't feed them, homes where they will never hear the gospel in. I don't understand. It doesn't make sense to me. Who's fault is this?
Now here's the part where I stand back and I remind myself that I'm this close to being critcal of God. And that would be the stupidest mistake anybody could ever make. I need to remember that He knows all and understands all. He knows what's right for everyone and I should never pretend that I know what's best for myself let alone other people. But why wouldn't He tap into this amazing resouce he created to fight this fight. We're dressed for it, we've been training for it, we've read the rule book. We're ready to play! Put us in coach. I don't understand.
I believe that one of the ways that Satan is destroying the family is by making the Young Single Adults believe that they are fine being single. And I'm really sorry but I gotta lay this on the men. Women indeed play an active role in getting asked out and the courting process but women can only take it so far. At some point it becomes the Preisthood responsibility of a young man to pick up the phone. And to be fair I know men who are fulfilling this responsibility and maybe you feel like you're failing but I promise that if you keep at it you'll eventually find what you are looking for or realize that what you're looking for doesn't exsist and that you are surrounded by young women who would make incredible companions.
My mom says she thinks there should be a place where all Preisthood holders who didn't marry in a timely manner on this Earth should have to sit on a bench for 1,000 years. I just hope that they open their eyes at some point during their eternal life and say "boy wasn't I an idiot!"
And please don't think I don't understand why its hard to get married. I've blogged about it before and I have my own set of issues I've got to work through before I can go there. Its not easy. But was anything worth doing ever easy?
So I guess for now I'll cheer for my team and do my part by warming my section of bench. And try not to get mad at what I hear at church.
"To find somebody you love, you gotta be somebody you love." -- Nada Surf
I got a little upset in church the other day which is actually the opposite of what you want to happen when you go to church. The reason I got a little mad is because I heard two statments that I'm just plain sick of hearing. The first is the sometimes hollow reassurance that if you do not have the opportunity to marry and have a family in this life, and you desire that, you will have that opportunity in the next life. The second is that the family is under attack by the worst forces in the world. Before I go any further I need to say that I believe both of these principles to be true. I'm just tired of hearing them. And I guess I'm tired of hearing them because I'm a benchwarmer. And I can't say I've ever heard of anyone who is happy warming the bench (ask my brother Michael).
Let's start with the all too common promise that those that are not blessed to recieve the happiness and joy that only comes from family life in this life, if they'll only be patient, they will recieve those blessings in the next life. Why do they keep telling us that?! Are we supposed to be satisfied with that? Are we supposed to use that as an excuse for not getting married? It's like being provided with a safety net or padding all the sharp corners in your house for an infant learning to walk. We have to learn how to do this. Its the most important thing we will ever do! And by being told all the time that its so important and then not to worry if it doesn't happen, because it will...eventually... after you've lived an entire, lonely life longing for it to happen just feels like a contradiction. I'm 23. I'm not worried about not get married yet but when I consider my future I would be a fool not to consider the possibility of not getting married. And I need to be able to live a happy and fulfilled life regardless but stop telling me that its ok if it doesn't happen because it will eventually! It almost starts to feel like they are telling me to plan on not getting married.
It's a little akward being a single person in a plan where the family is central. I'm not mad however because the Church does an excellent of job of providing for the needs of its' memebers. And its all pretty fool proof because even if you're not in a position to build you're own family you're built into one so one way or another everyone gets what they need (but maybe not always what they want, wink). I remember my freshman year my single's ward bishop saying that a single person in the church was like someone in a wheelchair at a dance. The person in the wheelchair is included as best they can be but the dance doesn't stop because one person can't dance. The dance won't stop for anybody or anything (not even a bad DJ which is all too common at a church dance). And that's why the church is true.Onto my next point which is directly related to the one above: The family is under attack. I believe this with all my heart and it scares me. The greatest joy and comfort I've experienced in this life comes from my family. And to think that that is being destroyed, that millions of people are missing out on the greatest joys this life has to offer is staggering. We as members of the church, who know the truth, have been given the responibility of fighting this battle by creating strong homes where gospel priciples are taught, that are havens from the evils of this world. Here's where I get mad. I can name a solid 20 (if not more) women off the top of my head who want to fight this fight and have yet been given the opportunity to. They're benchwarmers. Plenty of these women are still young and I'm not worried about them but I know other women who may never get the opportunity to get what they want the very most from this life. It seems like such a terrible waste. A waste of love, talent, charity, righteousness. It's like everyone is starving and you have more bread than you need in the next room. Dumb! Think of the righteous generations these women could raise that this world may never see. And then think about all of the children being born in abusive homes, broken homes, homes where parents can't feed them, homes where they will never hear the gospel in. I don't understand. It doesn't make sense to me. Who's fault is this?
Now here's the part where I stand back and I remind myself that I'm this close to being critcal of God. And that would be the stupidest mistake anybody could ever make. I need to remember that He knows all and understands all. He knows what's right for everyone and I should never pretend that I know what's best for myself let alone other people. But why wouldn't He tap into this amazing resouce he created to fight this fight. We're dressed for it, we've been training for it, we've read the rule book. We're ready to play! Put us in coach. I don't understand.
I believe that one of the ways that Satan is destroying the family is by making the Young Single Adults believe that they are fine being single. And I'm really sorry but I gotta lay this on the men. Women indeed play an active role in getting asked out and the courting process but women can only take it so far. At some point it becomes the Preisthood responsibility of a young man to pick up the phone. And to be fair I know men who are fulfilling this responsibility and maybe you feel like you're failing but I promise that if you keep at it you'll eventually find what you are looking for or realize that what you're looking for doesn't exsist and that you are surrounded by young women who would make incredible companions.
My mom says she thinks there should be a place where all Preisthood holders who didn't marry in a timely manner on this Earth should have to sit on a bench for 1,000 years. I just hope that they open their eyes at some point during their eternal life and say "boy wasn't I an idiot!"
And please don't think I don't understand why its hard to get married. I've blogged about it before and I have my own set of issues I've got to work through before I can go there. Its not easy. But was anything worth doing ever easy?
So I guess for now I'll cheer for my team and do my part by warming my section of bench. And try not to get mad at what I hear at church.
"To find somebody you love, you gotta be somebody you love." -- Nada Surf
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Birthday Wish List
For my birthday next week I want:
- a water polo ball
- a straw cowboy hat that screams "I'm a redneck from Utah"
- a head lamp
- a hula hoop
- to sit in a lawn chair while watching my friends and family attempt to hula hoop
- to see the new Indiana Jones
- to go to dinner with family
- to bbq with friends
- for the pool to open
- a new crush
- to go boating
- for my car to be registered
- for the AC in my car to work
- for a new car
- $100 to spend at Urban Outfitters
- for gas prices to go down
- to have confidence in a presidentail canidate
- to not fear for our country's future
- to go dancing
- the books I want to be at the library
- the new Coldplay and Jason Mraz
- to be excited I'm turning 23
This may be a lot to ask for but you only turn 23 once.
"We do our time like pennies in a jar. What are we saving for?" -- The Bravery
Youth in Asia
If there was any earthyly power that controlled the life cycles of humans like we do of dogs and cats the ACLU would have a stroke...and sue a lot of people. From spaying and nuetering to euthenasia. As much as some people treat their pets like people (with the sweaters and stuff) at the end of the day they really don't.
I think that we put down animals not for their comfort but for our own. Nobody wants to see a pet they've come to know and love sick, old and in pain so we remove them from our sight. We kind of do the same thing with the elderly by putting them in homes but we would never kill them. We do our best to make them as comfortable as possible but to put them down would be inhumane. But it's considered humane to put down a dog. Strange. I think what it boils down to is that taking care of a sick elderly creature takes time, and we can justify paying someone to do the job for our gradparents but not for pets. And really who would want that job? Animal hospice...hmmmm....Anyway I don't know why I'm devoting any time to this and I'm not trying to be political...when my dog gets old and sick I'm sure I'll have him put down rather than watch him suffer but I'll maybe feel a little guilty knowing that I'm probably doing it more for my own comfort than for his.
"For the joy of human love! Brother, sister, parent, child." -- For the Beauty of the Earth
I think that we put down animals not for their comfort but for our own. Nobody wants to see a pet they've come to know and love sick, old and in pain so we remove them from our sight. We kind of do the same thing with the elderly by putting them in homes but we would never kill them. We do our best to make them as comfortable as possible but to put them down would be inhumane. But it's considered humane to put down a dog. Strange. I think what it boils down to is that taking care of a sick elderly creature takes time, and we can justify paying someone to do the job for our gradparents but not for pets. And really who would want that job? Animal hospice...hmmmm....Anyway I don't know why I'm devoting any time to this and I'm not trying to be political...when my dog gets old and sick I'm sure I'll have him put down rather than watch him suffer but I'll maybe feel a little guilty knowing that I'm probably doing it more for my own comfort than for his.
"For the joy of human love! Brother, sister, parent, child." -- For the Beauty of the Earth
Friday, May 2, 2008
Dear Logan,
Wow, has it really been five years? The time has flown. Well most of the time. It's been great. Really it has. I don't regret anything we did although I do regret some of the things we didn't get to do. You've treated me well. With you I have grown from adolescence to adulthood (or at least some form of quasi-adulthood). I've experienced my deepest heartache and my most blissfully happy moments with you. My heart has grown and I have a better understanding of the world after all this time.
I'm not sad to go. I feel like I have learned all that I can, or all that I'm willing to learn from you and I feel restless . I need to get away and try something new. I feel too big, or too old for you. I feel like there is something bigger waiting just over the horizon. I don't know what it is but I'm going to go out and meet it rather than sit here and wait for it. I'll miss you. I already do in fact. But you've got to go away to be missed, you know?
It hasn't always been great though. What's with the eternity-long bitter cold winters?...I gotta be real with you and tell you that I can't stand that about you. That's one thing I won't miss.
But just like everything else in life, you only remember the good parts. The sting fades and we'll always have an idealistic memory of the way we were. And knowing my luck whatever I find down the road will probably suck and I'll get super nostalgic for my golden undergrad days. But I've got to find that out for myself...
So before one or the other of us starts to cry I must bid you a heartfelt farewell.
Yours affectionately,
Heather
"Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come" -- The Beatles
I'm not sad to go. I feel like I have learned all that I can, or all that I'm willing to learn from you and I feel restless . I need to get away and try something new. I feel too big, or too old for you. I feel like there is something bigger waiting just over the horizon. I don't know what it is but I'm going to go out and meet it rather than sit here and wait for it. I'll miss you. I already do in fact. But you've got to go away to be missed, you know?
It hasn't always been great though. What's with the eternity-long bitter cold winters?...I gotta be real with you and tell you that I can't stand that about you. That's one thing I won't miss.
But just like everything else in life, you only remember the good parts. The sting fades and we'll always have an idealistic memory of the way we were. And knowing my luck whatever I find down the road will probably suck and I'll get super nostalgic for my golden undergrad days. But I've got to find that out for myself...
So before one or the other of us starts to cry I must bid you a heartfelt farewell.
Yours affectionately,
Heather
"Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come" -- The Beatles
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Understanding Standards
When I spent the day alone in Disneyland Paris (how many people do you know that can say that!) it was very hot. Not the dry desert heat I've come to know and love but a wet soggy Parisian heat. I had moisture pooling in all of my crevices and I just wanted to take my clothes off and jump in a body of water but I couldn't. I was waiting in line to get on Thunder Mountain. To distract myself from my own moistness I began to observe all of the foreigners around me. The people behind me were speaking German, in front of me French and the ride instructions blaring overhead were spoken in a heavy American West English (music to my ears). But what caught my attention in this melting pot of people were three teenage Arabs a little way ahead of me. One was a boy and the other two were girls. The boy looked like a normal teenage boy in shorts and a t-shirt but the girls were completely covered from their foreheads to their toes. They were wearing normal clothes, jeans and sneakers and stuff but they were in long sleeves, no sandals, and their heads were covered. I stared in disbelief. I was dying in the heat. Literally dripping pounds of water weight right off. I couldn't imagine wearing more than I was. "Incredible," I thought "And just for their religion. They must be dying. I can't understand how they can put up with wearing that much in this heat just because their religion says so." As I tried to wrap my mind around this I took notice of my own attire. I was wearing knee length shorts and a high necked t-shirt. I glanced around me. Excluding the Arabs I was the most dressed girl in line. Everyone else in front or in back of me no matter their size or age was wearing a tank-top and barely butt cheek grazing shorts or a skirt. Suddenly I understood. I still don't understand why they were completely covered from head to toe but I do understand why they choose to dress the way their religion and culture dictates. Because I do it too. Who knew that in a line of foreigners I would find the most in common with three Arabs.
"There's so much that we share that its time we're aware its a small world after all"
"There's so much that we share that its time we're aware its a small world after all"
Friday, April 25, 2008
Notes
Some thoughts...
Can you steal something from someone and not know it? Like a heart? I know you can steal a heart from someone and know about it but if you steal it and don't know about it can you call it stealing?
I think that homosexuality is another way that some men discriminate against women. If homosexuality made sense women wouldn't exist. Unless they were lesbians.
I find myself attracted to arrogance. I think that maybe this is because if they (whoever I'm attracted to) thinks that they are the bomb.com its easier for me to think that about them too. Too bad being arrogant is closely associated with being a selfish jerk.
The global warming forecast for desert areas such as Utah is increased precipitation. Hmmm...everybody recycle and ride your bikes...I'm tired of the cold.
Nobody is born smarter than anybody. We are all given the same capacity and potential as everybody else (the exception, of course, is people with special needs)....some are just better learners than others. Luckily we can all learn how to learn.
"I've been thinking a lot today." -- Ben Folds
Can you steal something from someone and not know it? Like a heart? I know you can steal a heart from someone and know about it but if you steal it and don't know about it can you call it stealing?
I think that homosexuality is another way that some men discriminate against women. If homosexuality made sense women wouldn't exist. Unless they were lesbians.
I find myself attracted to arrogance. I think that maybe this is because if they (whoever I'm attracted to) thinks that they are the bomb.com its easier for me to think that about them too. Too bad being arrogant is closely associated with being a selfish jerk.
The global warming forecast for desert areas such as Utah is increased precipitation. Hmmm...everybody recycle and ride your bikes...I'm tired of the cold.
Nobody is born smarter than anybody. We are all given the same capacity and potential as everybody else (the exception, of course, is people with special needs)....some are just better learners than others. Luckily we can all learn how to learn.
"I've been thinking a lot today." -- Ben Folds
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Quote Wall
On my facebook profile I've gotten into the habit of posting any and all quotes that I happen to hear and like. I've used my facebook profile for the lack of a better alternative. My roommate Beckie informed me that she has never read through all of the quotes on my facebook profile because there are so many so I'm going to "simplify, simplify" (see what I did there...Thoreau?) and start using my blog as a place to put those thoughts and ideas that are so pleasing to me. I figure people visit my blog expecting to read what I think whereas they are visiting my facebook profile to see who I'm flirting with online or to see pictures of me at parties or whatever. Basically my blog is a more appropriate place for important thoughts. So anyway here's what I've accumulated:
"We do not need more intellectual power, we need more moral power. We do not need more knowledge, we need more character. We do not need more government, we need more culture. We do not need more law, we need more religion. We do not need more of the things that are seen, we need more of the things that are unseen.... If the foundation is firm, the superstructure will stand." Calvin Coolidge
"We do not need more intellectual power, we need more moral power. We do not need more knowledge, we need more character. We do not need more government, we need more culture. We do not need more law, we need more religion. We do not need more of the things that are seen, we need more of the things that are unseen.... If the foundation is firm, the superstructure will stand." Calvin Coolidge
"I've never tasted heaven but I've smelled Joseph Smith." -- Sue Barton
"Coming home from very lonely places, all of us go a little mad: whether from great personal success, or just an all-night drive, we are the sole survivors of a world no one else has ever seen."
--John Le Carre
"It seems to me that if you can't trust...you can't be trusted." -- Ben Folds
"We're living the law of consecration, what's mine is his and vice versa, except I don't need any of his stuff so...whatevski" -- Elder Ryan Barton about his greenie.
I never saw a moor,
I never saw the sea;
Yet know I how the heather looks,
And what a wave must be.
I never spoke with God,
Nor visited in heaven;
Yet certain am I of the spot
As if the chart were given
-- Emily Dickinson
"I'm not Irish or Catholic, but I am Irish Catholic." -- Guy in the grocery store
"Everybody laughs, everbody cries, sure it can hurt you baby but give it a little try. See that's the thing about love..." -- Alicia Keys
"Does it look like I'm losing control?!...My pants are kind of wet." -- Heidi Lamb
"Everything is the worst." -- Liz Lemon
"If you're not prepared to look stupid, nothing really great will ever happen."
"There is nothing new in the world except the history you do not know" -- Harry S. Truman
"You can't always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, well you might find you get what you need." -- Rolling Stones
"It's never a mistake to care about someone." -- Erika Johnsen
"Life, believe, is not a dream
So dark, as sages say:
Oft a little morning rain
Foretells a pleasent day."
-- Charlotte Bronte
"The best books...are those that tell you what you know already." -- George Orwell
"There was truth and there was untruth, and if you clung to the truth even against the whole world, you were not mad." -- George Orwell
"Roastnuts chesting on an open fire..." --Micahel Barton
"Whatever you are, be a good one." -- Abraham Lincoln
"Pain throws your heart to the ground, love turns the whole thing around. Fear is a friend who's misunderstood, but I know the heart of life is good." -- John Mayer
"And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." -- Paul McCartney
"They'll come for the cleavage, they'll stay cause you're a good person." -- Sue Barton (thanks mom)
"I'd like to think that the best of me, is still hiding up my sleeve." -- John Mayer
Anyway, not that exciting really. I just wanted a more permanent place to put these little gems and my blog won over my facebook profile. I can't decide if I want to add to this blog as I encounter new quotes or I want to make new posts as they come along...we'll cross that bridge as we come to it.
Also, how do you all feel about quoting yourself? Weird or cool?
"I feel like a quote out of context" -- Ben Folds.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Baby Mama
I really have a ton to do and I haven't been blogging as a result but I'm at the lab for like the third straight night in a row and I don't know if I'll be leaving anytime soon but I just wanted to empty my head of at least this thought. I have a lot of potential blogs buzzing around in my head but I haven't had time to write them...I can do this one fast though...:
I realize that television and movies are not accurate portrayals of the lives, activities and beliefs of the American people but when it comes to stuff outside of the church I kind of can't help but take their word for how things are. This being said I've been seeing something in television and movies that kind of disturbs me: older, single, career women wanting to have test tube babies.
I'm only twenty-two and I totally understand the want and the need to have a baby (just ask Sadie). And as a member of the church I believe that their is no greater cause that I could devote my life to, so single, older ladies I feel for you. Sometimes my biggest fear is not that I won't get married, but that I won't have the chance to be a mother. I realize that the two are not mutually exclusive and that's why I can't understand these women who cut out the middle man (literally).
Lets evaluate this for a second...for whatever reason these 40+ women have never been married (or maybe they have been but divorced and there were no children) but all of them have failed to have long-lasting important relationships. I'm sure one of the reasons is because they are so career oriented and not willing to make sacrifices. In a word, they are selfish. And because they are selfish, they are alone, and because they are alone they're depressed and because they're depressed they want to bring to life a creature who's existence is completely dependent on them. Who will love them unquestioningly. Who doesn't want that after all?
My advice to these women...GET A DOG!
You couldn't get pregnant the real way because of selfishness, and you think that selfishness is going to go away because you have a kid that is totally dependent on you. Motherhood is the most thankless, self-sacrificing job in the world. If you can't establish a give and take, communicative, loving, relationship with another mature adult what makes you think you will be able to do it with a being who ONLY takes and CAN'T communicate? It just doesn't really make sense to me.
Now the point that I haven't factored into the equation is that some of these women are not choosing to be single. And I feel for those gals. Sometimes men are jerks and sometimes (actually all the time) its better to be single than to be in a bad relationship. But to you my advice still applies...get a dog. A dog won't blame you for how screwed up it is after eighteen years of your care. It will just be glad to see you.
I guess this was brought on by a House episode where a woman and her baby were near death all because she was so old. She would have rather died than abort the unhealthy fetus that was killing her. That fetus was all she had. If she had gotten it together in her thirties she wouldn't have this problem. Also the movie Baby Mama is coming out. I'm actually really excited about it because I have a girl-crush on Tina Fey. Tina Fey's characters are usually always these pathetic baby-hungry women I'm talking about but I can love her because in real life she is married and has a daughter and gives credit for her stability and happiness to her husband and child.
Family is where it is at.
I hate doing homework right now.
Someone near me in the lab has really bad foot odor.
"One love, we get to share it. It will leave you baby if you don't care for it." -- U2
I realize that television and movies are not accurate portrayals of the lives, activities and beliefs of the American people but when it comes to stuff outside of the church I kind of can't help but take their word for how things are. This being said I've been seeing something in television and movies that kind of disturbs me: older, single, career women wanting to have test tube babies.
I'm only twenty-two and I totally understand the want and the need to have a baby (just ask Sadie). And as a member of the church I believe that their is no greater cause that I could devote my life to, so single, older ladies I feel for you. Sometimes my biggest fear is not that I won't get married, but that I won't have the chance to be a mother. I realize that the two are not mutually exclusive and that's why I can't understand these women who cut out the middle man (literally).
Lets evaluate this for a second...for whatever reason these 40+ women have never been married (or maybe they have been but divorced and there were no children) but all of them have failed to have long-lasting important relationships. I'm sure one of the reasons is because they are so career oriented and not willing to make sacrifices. In a word, they are selfish. And because they are selfish, they are alone, and because they are alone they're depressed and because they're depressed they want to bring to life a creature who's existence is completely dependent on them. Who will love them unquestioningly. Who doesn't want that after all?
My advice to these women...GET A DOG!
You couldn't get pregnant the real way because of selfishness, and you think that selfishness is going to go away because you have a kid that is totally dependent on you. Motherhood is the most thankless, self-sacrificing job in the world. If you can't establish a give and take, communicative, loving, relationship with another mature adult what makes you think you will be able to do it with a being who ONLY takes and CAN'T communicate? It just doesn't really make sense to me.
Now the point that I haven't factored into the equation is that some of these women are not choosing to be single. And I feel for those gals. Sometimes men are jerks and sometimes (actually all the time) its better to be single than to be in a bad relationship. But to you my advice still applies...get a dog. A dog won't blame you for how screwed up it is after eighteen years of your care. It will just be glad to see you.
I guess this was brought on by a House episode where a woman and her baby were near death all because she was so old. She would have rather died than abort the unhealthy fetus that was killing her. That fetus was all she had. If she had gotten it together in her thirties she wouldn't have this problem. Also the movie Baby Mama is coming out. I'm actually really excited about it because I have a girl-crush on Tina Fey. Tina Fey's characters are usually always these pathetic baby-hungry women I'm talking about but I can love her because in real life she is married and has a daughter and gives credit for her stability and happiness to her husband and child.
Family is where it is at.
I hate doing homework right now.
Someone near me in the lab has really bad foot odor.
"One love, we get to share it. It will leave you baby if you don't care for it." -- U2
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Waist Deep
I've been a full-time student for roughly eighteen years now. That's a lot considering that I have only been alive for twenty-three. As a result I've gotten pretty good at sitting and listening to people tell me stuff. It probably wasn't until sometime in junior high that I began to wonder if all the things that these people (teachers) were telling me were true/right/correct. Thus the seeds of doubt were sown. Ever since then its been my job (as a student and a member of the human race) to wade through a vast sea of predjudice, opinion, perception, misinformation, and plain old b.s. in search of absolute truth. (In my opinion we are all looking for truth. Some of us are more active in our search and some are better at finding it than others but we're all still looking nonetheless).
Needless to say its exhausting to always be wondering if you can believe what you are hearing when you're hearing stuff most of the day. And that is why it is so refreshing to sit and listen for eight hours every six months to messages that you don't have to doubt for a single second. Of course I'm talking about General Conference. I loved Elder Oak's talk on testimony when he described that knowledge comes through two channels: we recieve personal knowledge through the Holy Ghost and knowledge through church leaders. Because I personally have gained the knowledge that the fifteen men that lead our church are prophets, seers and revelators I naturally believe that whatever they say is truth. It's not blind obedience...its knowledge. Just thinking about it makes me breathe a sigh of relief. I know that I will never be led astray or decieved by these men. They have no hidden agenda and stand nothing to gain from telling me falsehoods...I love Conference. It makes my search for truth so much easier.
"It's funny how many times they prove that the only true fortune you can save is the truth." -- The Beautiful Girls
Needless to say its exhausting to always be wondering if you can believe what you are hearing when you're hearing stuff most of the day. And that is why it is so refreshing to sit and listen for eight hours every six months to messages that you don't have to doubt for a single second. Of course I'm talking about General Conference. I loved Elder Oak's talk on testimony when he described that knowledge comes through two channels: we recieve personal knowledge through the Holy Ghost and knowledge through church leaders. Because I personally have gained the knowledge that the fifteen men that lead our church are prophets, seers and revelators I naturally believe that whatever they say is truth. It's not blind obedience...its knowledge. Just thinking about it makes me breathe a sigh of relief. I know that I will never be led astray or decieved by these men. They have no hidden agenda and stand nothing to gain from telling me falsehoods...I love Conference. It makes my search for truth so much easier.
"It's funny how many times they prove that the only true fortune you can save is the truth." -- The Beautiful Girls
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Unencumbered, numbered words
Being the mediocre student that I am I would like to take this time that I could and should be doing homework to post some of my favorite words.
I like these words for their etymology, orthography, phonology, and/or semantics. So without further ado and in no particular order:
apogee
archipelago
veracity
ambiguous
cartography
necromancy
melancholy
masochistic
grotto
ersatz
bowson
satiate
placenta
coup d'etat
hysteria
heliocentric
monochromatic
thesaurus
narcoleptic
audacity
crenshaw
crecent
asparagus
pomegranate
pineapple
I'll probably add to this list as I encounter more of my favorite world-expanding treasures.
"I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror and bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer. My breath fogged up the glass so I drew a new face and laughed." -- Jason Mraz
I like these words for their etymology, orthography, phonology, and/or semantics. So without further ado and in no particular order:
apogee
archipelago
veracity
ambiguous
cartography
necromancy
melancholy
masochistic
grotto
ersatz
bowson
satiate
placenta
coup d'etat
hysteria
heliocentric
monochromatic
thesaurus
narcoleptic
audacity
crenshaw
crecent
asparagus
pomegranate
pineapple
I'll probably add to this list as I encounter more of my favorite world-expanding treasures.
"I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror and bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer. My breath fogged up the glass so I drew a new face and laughed." -- Jason Mraz
Friday, March 28, 2008
I (heart) JM
I realize that to anyone reading this blog who knows me (Sadie) the title of this post is obvious and redundant. I love him for many reasons but this is just one of them*...
Read his March 27, 2008 post titled "From the heart..."
http://www.johnmayer.com/blog
Remember my Valentine's blog and subsequent posts where I tried to say that I think we could all be happy if we stopped thinking about ourselves so much and just lived our lives? Well he said it better here. It's ok to be happy, it's ok to be sad. It's ok to be scared and care about other people and what they think about you. I just hate seeing people who, like he said, act so bada** but one sentence can bring them to tears. Why are they so scared to feel? I'm not excluding myself from this as much as I'd like to make you think that I'm a bada**. My wish for humanity is that we can all be REAL with each other. And to me being real with someone means letting them know that you CARE and their real response would be to care about you. Maybe in a perfect world...which may come sooner rather than later (I bet JM doesn't know that).
I hope this doesn't perpetuate the emo feel of my last post. I'm just a white girl with a lot of heart and free time at work ok?
*I realize that John is a little arrogant and self-indulgent. I still love him in spite of this. I wonder what that says about me.
"But this morning there's a calm I can't explain, rock candy's melted only diamonds now remain." -- John Mayer
Read his March 27, 2008 post titled "From the heart..."
http://www.johnmayer.com/blog
Remember my Valentine's blog and subsequent posts where I tried to say that I think we could all be happy if we stopped thinking about ourselves so much and just lived our lives? Well he said it better here. It's ok to be happy, it's ok to be sad. It's ok to be scared and care about other people and what they think about you. I just hate seeing people who, like he said, act so bada** but one sentence can bring them to tears. Why are they so scared to feel? I'm not excluding myself from this as much as I'd like to make you think that I'm a bada**. My wish for humanity is that we can all be REAL with each other. And to me being real with someone means letting them know that you CARE and their real response would be to care about you. Maybe in a perfect world...which may come sooner rather than later (I bet JM doesn't know that).
I hope this doesn't perpetuate the emo feel of my last post. I'm just a white girl with a lot of heart and free time at work ok?
*I realize that John is a little arrogant and self-indulgent. I still love him in spite of this. I wonder what that says about me.
"But this morning there's a calm I can't explain, rock candy's melted only diamonds now remain." -- John Mayer
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
And so it goes
I just listended to Billy Joel's "And So it Goes" and it might be the saddest song ever, way beautiful though (how emo of me). The lyrics and melody just spell heartbreak and vulnerability. I love it when you find a song that expresses how you feel when you yourself can't articulate it.
*editor's note: I actually do not feel this way right now at this time in my life. Or at least not to this dramatic extent. I'm in a good place. But I think I could say I have before...
If you want to listen to it I'm sure its on youtube or something. Most I'll do for ye is post the lyrics. So pretty:
In every heart there is a room
A sanctuary safe and strong
To heal the wounds from lovers past
Until a new one comes along
I spoke to you in cautious tones
You answered me with no pretense
And still I feel I said too much
My silence is my self defense
And every time I've held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns
And so it goes, and so it goes
And so will you soon I suppose
But if my silence made you leave
Then that would be my worst mistake
So I will share this room with you
And you can have this heart to break
And this is why my eyes are closed
It's just as well for all I've seen
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows
So I would choose to be with you
That's if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to break
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows
*editor's note: I actually do not feel this way right now at this time in my life. Or at least not to this dramatic extent. I'm in a good place. But I think I could say I have before...
If you want to listen to it I'm sure its on youtube or something. Most I'll do for ye is post the lyrics. So pretty:
In every heart there is a room
A sanctuary safe and strong
To heal the wounds from lovers past
Until a new one comes along
I spoke to you in cautious tones
You answered me with no pretense
And still I feel I said too much
My silence is my self defense
And every time I've held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns
And so it goes, and so it goes
And so will you soon I suppose
But if my silence made you leave
Then that would be my worst mistake
So I will share this room with you
And you can have this heart to break
And this is why my eyes are closed
It's just as well for all I've seen
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows
So I would choose to be with you
That's if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
And you can have this heart to break
And so it goes, and so it goes
And you're the only one who knows
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